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25jiyuki

25jiyuki

Lost
Feb 25, 2025
32
2 days ago I attempted suicide, the same day my dosage of Lexapro was increased. While I was suffocating, and everything went dark, I felt a sense of peace like I never have in my life. The constant thoughts and harsh words in my mind all dimmed out, and I just thought. It's finally over. It'll finally be over…

The wonderful feeling disappeared when my survival instinct stopped me. I think it was that? I'm not so sure myself why I stopped. I felt dizzy, it took effort to breathe and my body was shaking. I was shocked and a little amazed at myself. After I was frozen in place for a few minutes, trying to breathe, my phone lit up and I saw that my messages were spammed by a loved one worried for me. I cried for a while. I must've stayed there for an hour before finding the will to get up. Going to my desk. I could walk if I put in the effort, but I felt weird. Everything felt wrong. It felt wrong just to walk through my room again. I wished I had succeeded.

Ever since then I've been craving that feeling, of the entire world disappearing, of that peace. I'm kinda curious if anyone had a similar feeling. Or maybe a different experience compared to mine?
 
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Pale_Rider

Pale_Rider

Wizard
Apr 21, 2025
670
I attempted, and went out. I cant say I felt peace, but maybe more satisfaction. For the same reason it was over, but I had worries about what was next. There was also a lot of emotional pain from the event itself, that I had to wade through.
 
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Unknown21

Unknown21

The past never dies. Forever 22.
Apr 25, 2023
1,065
2 days ago I attempted suicide, the same day my dosage of Lexapro was increased. While I was suffocating, and everything went dark, I felt a sense of peace like I never have in my life. The constant thoughts and harsh words in my mind all dimmed out, and I just thought. It's finally over. It'll finally be over…

The wonderful feeling disappeared when my survival instinct stopped me. I think it was that? I'm not so sure myself why I stopped. I felt dizzy, it took effort to breathe and my body was shaking. I was shocked and a little amazed at myself. After I was frozen in place for a few minutes, trying to breathe, my phone lit up and I saw that my messages were spammed by a loved one worried for me. I cried for a while. I must've stayed there for an hour before finding the will to get up. Going to my desk. I could walk if I put in the effort, but I felt weird. Everything felt wrong. It felt wrong just to walk through my room again. I wished I had succeeded.

Ever since then I've been craving that feeling, of the entire world disappearing, of that peace. I'm kinda curious if anyone had a similar feeling. Or maybe a different experience compared to mine?
That's what I'm craving too, it's kinda blessing and scary at the same time.
 
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RoseGirl

RoseGirl

Student
May 8, 2025
107
I get that too. During my first suicide attempt i felt like that until my SI kicked in and told me "You must continue" :c
 
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Lily6759

Lily6759

Suicidal Sadist
Apr 23, 2025
20
2 days ago I attempted suicide, the same day my dosage of Lexapro was increased. While I was suffocating, and everything went dark, I felt a sense of peace like I never have in my life. The constant thoughts and harsh words in my mind all dimmed out, and I just thought. It's finally over. It'll finally be over…

The wonderful feeling disappeared when my survival instinct stopped me. I think it was that? I'm not so sure myself why I stopped. I felt dizzy, it took effort to breathe and my body was shaking. I was shocked and a little amazed at myself. After I was frozen in place for a few minutes, trying to breathe, my phone lit up and I saw that my messages were spammed by a loved one worried for me. I cried for a while. I must've stayed there for an hour before finding the will to get up. Going to my desk. I could walk if I put in the effort, but I felt weird. Everything felt wrong. It felt wrong just to walk through my room again. I wished I had succeeded.

Ever since then I've been craving that feeling, of the entire world disappearing, of that peace. I'm kinda curious if anyone had a similar feeling. Or maybe a different experience compared to mine?
I had a really similar experience. I felt ready to die, I had messaged the people I needed to. I tried, I felt that peace, mixed with a rush and acceptance and then, SI stopped me. It felt like I wasn't really real. Like I was in a space I shouldn't have access to anymore. Almost like visiting a childhood home, and going to your room, but it's not your room anymore.

I want that feeling back too. I want to experience it again. I want to know peace properly. But I have to live for someone who's more important.
 
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I

itsoverforme303

Burn my dread
Mar 3, 2025
118
I wish I could just do it. I wish I had the courage I wish this pain would stop. I wish I just had peace and happiness for a few minutes. I have had nothing but anxiety and suicidal thoughts for the last 6 months or so. I just want it to end.
 
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