This feeling is wonderful

[deathisnear]

Today I've never felt closer to ctb than I do now. I know it won't happen today unfortunately, maybe not even real soon, but the feeling I have today is hard to describe. feeling of commitment, a feeling of no turning back, a feeling that everything is going to be okay and a feeling that peace is near. I need to bottle this feeling up and keep it with me as I write my notes and finish up my final odds and ends. I don't want this feeling to ever leave, My eye is on the prize now, full steam ahead, no hesitation, I'm on a collision course with death and sweet sweet non existence and I fucking love it

 

[FuneralCry]

This life really can be cruel and hard, I love the sound of non existence, it really comforts me. It is hard to take our own lives as it requires a lot of courage but I know it always is possible, that we can get the peace we deserve.

 

[deathisnear]

This life really can be cruel and hard, I love the sound of non existence, it really comforts me. It is hard to take our own lives as it requires a lot of courage but I know it always is possible, that we can get the peace we deserve.

I love the sound of non existence more than anything, this feeling today, it's incredible and I hope it can stick with me. I know ctb is the only thing that I want and need to do that will bring me the peace I'm seeking. I can't and won't turn back now. :)

 

[WornOutLife]

I felt just like you some days before my failed attempt.
I wasn't scared of death. I was just sad about leaving my dad and dog alone but also felt kinda happy because I was finally gonna be free and I was quite curious about what was next even though I think there's probably nothing.

Whatever happens, wish you lots of love and peace!

Hugs,

Matt

 

[deathisnear]

I felt just like you some days before my failed attempt.
I wasn't scared of death. I was just sad about leaving my dad and dog alone but also felt kinda happy because I was finally gonna be free and I was quite curious about what was next even though I think there's probably nothing.

Whatever happens, wish you lots of love and peace!

Hugs,

Matt

Thanks Matt. I wish it could happen today, but it can't, I'm not ready with the shit I gotta get done before I go. But I hope I can bottle up this feeling, I am so excited and at peace and looking forward to non existence soon I hope. This is gonna keep me focused on the prize I know it. I can't wait.

 

[boc]

The feeling of being done with all of life's burdens is really empowering. I understand what you mean. I look forward to being able to commit to CTB one day as well.

 

[deathisnear]

The feeling of being done with all of life's burdens is really empowering. I understand what you mean. I look forward to being able to commit to CTB one day as well.

It really is, sometimes the feeling is stronger than others, but it's super strong today and I feel so good and so much closer to the end. I hope I can bottle this up until the day I pull the trigger.