Thinking of taking the last bit of cash I have left and gambling it. When I lose it I die

[Suicideorgy]

I already lost most of my savings in the crypto crash, I have 10% left, why not just give up already. The mental anxiety and depression isnt going to get better I will never be cured. I quit.

 

[Jrmull1993]

You get more satisfaction (and better odds at it) by spending that money on pampering yourself one last time, than just handing it to a casino...

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Please consider that even if you gamble and lose it all, the SI that hinders ctb will still be there. You may lose EVERYTHING and still have trouble (because of SI) CTB. Then you will have NO MONEY and STILL BE HERE. Is that acceptable? Or, does it make things worse? Only you can decide.

 

[eternal_life]

Please consider that even if you gamble and lose it all, the SI that hinders ctb will still be there. You may lose EVERYTHING and still have trouble (because of SI) CTB. Then you will have NO MONEY and STILL BE HERE. Is that acceptable? Or, does it make things worse? Only you can decide.

I agree with locked*n*loaded. I'm sorry you lost most of your savings in the crypto crash. If you still have 10% left, better to have that than to have 0%. Suicide sometimes goes wrong, what happens if you try and you don't get it? On top of that you would have 0 money, better to have something, even if it is little, than nothing, if you have trouble trying CTB. Risking it in games seems dangerous to me, and it's making the situation even worse than it is. I particularly hate money, because of the amount of suffering it causes in the world. But I know of cases of people who have gone bankrupt, and with effort and work, they have returned to earn a lot of money. Maybe you can use that 10% to get back on your feet financially, albeit slowly? It's not possible?

 

[Suicideorgy]

I see what you guys are sayin, thanks for talking me out of it.

Tbh my mental state is... I dunno, I feel sort of unstable. I dont have any issues like bipolar disorder, but I will laugh and mid laugh I get hit by crippling sadness. Does anyone else have this?

Or I will be out with the one person that is my friend and we will be chatting, watching a movie, etc then when I get home I get a crushing wave of suicidal ideation. Why? I was having fun a minute ago now I am absolutely ready and none of that matters, nothing matter but finally finally finally become nothingness return to the void.


Maybe I should make a thread about this

 

[Jrmull1993]

Maybe I should make a thread about this

You'd probably get a better insight into that if you posted it in the recovery forum.

 

[eternal_life]

I see what you guys are sayin, thanks for talking me out of it.

Tbh my mental state is... I dunno, I feel sort of unstable. I dont have any issues like bipolar disorder, but I will laugh and mid laugh I get hit by crippling sadness. Does anyone else have this?

Or I will be out with the one person that is my friend and we will be chatting, watching a movie, etc then when I get home I get a crushing wave of suicidal ideation. Why? I was having fun a minute ago now I am absolutely ready and none of that matters, nothing matter but finally finally finally become nothingness return to the void.


Maybe I should make a thread about this

Only oneself can know the reason for such instability. You say you were happy being with your friend, and then when you came home and you were alone, that suddenly changed. Perhaps what creates that instability in you is that, loneliness. Perhaps it can help you to be with someone longer to have greater emotional stability, a partner by your side, or if it is difficult to establish a relationship, perhaps even a pet can help give you greater stability.

Hugs.