Saponification
A piece of nothing
- Jun 27, 2024
- 186
Feels stupid saying that when I've been passively suicidal ever since I've had a conscience, I know. But I'm really thinking about just... turning my brain off and doing it. Tell my ego to fuck off and just get the SN and whatever else I need, book a room, and ingest it. Not a single thought involved. Just doing what I should logically have done years ago.
My life was over before it even started, born to a narcissist dumb fucking bitch, a dad who left and barely visits (understandable, she is the most insufferable and stupid woman you'd meet in your life), and a brother who made sure to bully me day in and day out for no reason.
Nowadays, I'm working some bullshit job so that I don't stare at the ceiling all day, buying shit I don't need, with delusions of progress. At this point I deserve this shit.
There's really just absolutely nothing left here for me anymore. There's a good chance I quit my job next week and start planning this fucking shit. I finally feel some determination when it comes to ending my life, I think. Or maybe I'll just default to my usual numb, autopilot state and delay this shit for like 6 more fucking months. Fuck me if that happens.
My life was over before it even started, born to a narcissist dumb fucking bitch, a dad who left and barely visits (understandable, she is the most insufferable and stupid woman you'd meet in your life), and a brother who made sure to bully me day in and day out for no reason.
Nowadays, I'm working some bullshit job so that I don't stare at the ceiling all day, buying shit I don't need, with delusions of progress. At this point I deserve this shit.
There's really just absolutely nothing left here for me anymore. There's a good chance I quit my job next week and start planning this fucking shit. I finally feel some determination when it comes to ending my life, I think. Or maybe I'll just default to my usual numb, autopilot state and delay this shit for like 6 more fucking months. Fuck me if that happens.
