greyblue_bian
2x Failed CTB Member
- Jun 10, 2022
- 184
I kind of gave up writing it for awhile and did something else. Anyways, as I was saying my mom and aunt would fight and my mom would run away. I would follow. Sometimes, they would give me a choice and sometimes I would feel the pressure with having to choose who to stay with; I always stayed with my mom. I went to hotels, friends houses. We always ended up back at my Aunt's house in the end. We still haven't gotten our own home. My mom and aunt do really fight anymore and that's fine. Both of my grandmothers passed away and I can't shake the guilt of not feeling anything. That's proven itself normal, of course. Anyways, it was always awkward having to go over to their house after we left and lived somewhere else and I hated it. They've called me things behind my back and they evidently have a favorite in the house, treating one of their own horribly. I've met guys: one who threatened to khs if I left him (I was in 7th grade) and one who was pretty much 18 and also mentally ill. That didn't well at all. My family lies to me and seems to keep doing so after all these years. I can't break ties with them without it coming back to me and it hurting me. I don't feel like putting anymore. But sometimes I have good days and a majority of the time I don't. I'm stuck in this loop of things going great and then things going horribly. I want it to end. But I don't know if I'm actually depressed and tired or if I'm just being a fucking crybaby and attention seeker.
