luapook
New Member
- Jul 9, 2020
- 1
I'm always at war with myself. There's a part of me that can't be too sure. But each year that goes by it shows me how hopeless and pointless it is to go on.
I've been living with my parents for years. Moved out a couple of times but wound up back home. Total failure. I turned 32 this year and it's getting worse.
My older brother is a narcissistic sociopath with shcitzophrenia. He's made my family's life a living nightmare. No matter the horrors he commits to my family, the hate he spreads, the ends of the earth he runs to, my parents run out to save him. Spending thousand and thousands of dollars trying to save someone who hates them and has done horrible things. 3-4 times a year he runs off to some state. Florida, California, Texas. He's been everywhere. I beg and plead with them that this time don't come to his rescue. Leave him there. End the cycle.
They bring him home and its the same thing over and over agian. It never stops. He comes home. Destroys everything. Emotionally abuses us. Runs away. Becomes a penniless beggar. My parents spend hundreds of dollars flying to wherever he went to find and rescue him. He comes home and the same thing happens again.
And I'm stuck here. A jobless failure. In debt from a college degree that never amounted to anything. Watching the destruction. They want to save my brother. But they don't want to save me. They roll their eyes when I tell them I'm not well. They think, because I am alive and healthy that's all that matters. They think I'm being a baby. Maybe I am.
But I can't deal with this nightmare anymore. I have no where to go. There is no hope left. Year after year I've come to realize there's no other way is there?
I've been living with my parents for years. Moved out a couple of times but wound up back home. Total failure. I turned 32 this year and it's getting worse.
My older brother is a narcissistic sociopath with shcitzophrenia. He's made my family's life a living nightmare. No matter the horrors he commits to my family, the hate he spreads, the ends of the earth he runs to, my parents run out to save him. Spending thousand and thousands of dollars trying to save someone who hates them and has done horrible things. 3-4 times a year he runs off to some state. Florida, California, Texas. He's been everywhere. I beg and plead with them that this time don't come to his rescue. Leave him there. End the cycle.
They bring him home and its the same thing over and over agian. It never stops. He comes home. Destroys everything. Emotionally abuses us. Runs away. Becomes a penniless beggar. My parents spend hundreds of dollars flying to wherever he went to find and rescue him. He comes home and the same thing happens again.
And I'm stuck here. A jobless failure. In debt from a college degree that never amounted to anything. Watching the destruction. They want to save my brother. But they don't want to save me. They roll their eyes when I tell them I'm not well. They think, because I am alive and healthy that's all that matters. They think I'm being a baby. Maybe I am.
But I can't deal with this nightmare anymore. I have no where to go. There is no hope left. Year after year I've come to realize there's no other way is there?
