The weight of living

[budbud29]

It's so hard waking up in the morning knowing you're not going to do anything all day, knowing you have nothing to do, knowing you have no one to see, knowing that you're just going to lay in your room and smoke cigarettes all day. I don't even ever wanna wake up because I know every day is going to repeat itself. I feel so guilty all the time because I do nothing and I live with family and barely contribute anything. A big reason why I want to leave this earth is because I don't want my family to have to take care of me my whole life because I'd feel like complete shit; I already feel like shit. I feel so bad that I'm 29 and I have my family taking care of me basically. Not my family but my older sister. She's the only person I have really. Still trying to figure out how I'm gonna leave. It's a very hard decision and a scary one. But I'm more scared of if I don't do it, what is my life gonna be like 10 years from now, 20 years from now?

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

What have you to worry about?

1. "You cannot please everyone; control the things you can control." ~Suncha Ferreira (Victus Group)/Mark 8:36, Matthew 13:12

• "If you feel guilty, and worry about not being a good person, then it's a sign that you are a good person. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise; bad people don't think about such things, and justify themselves as righteous." ~Suncha Ferreira/Psalm 51:17

2. The grass withers, the flowers fade, because the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass.
The grass withers, the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever. (Isaiah 40:7-8)

3. The world hates liabilities, and would rather they not exist, as much as the rules dictate that all life is inherently valuable. (Proverbs 25:17)

• Even in a community of liabilities, there is no place for a liability. (John 15:18)

4. You cannot experience death, for it would be like getting put under anesthesia. (Ecclesiastes 9:5)

5. Suicide is not a sin which leads to hell (separation), but rather, it is unbelief. (John 3:16-21)

6. Despite all that you do to make your exit foolproof, there is always that one percent chance you'll survive simply because it "wasn't your time yet". (Psalm 33:10-11)

Therefore, as much as I desire to live, and that a world without me would be awfully dull and grey, this isn't up to me; if I die, I die; though my father, mother, and the whole world forsake me, the Lord will bring me up. (Esther 4:11, Psalm 27:10)

 

[gardenoflonely]

What have you to worry about?

1. "You cannot please everyone; control the things you can control." ~Suncha Ferreira (Victus Group)/Mark 8:36, Matthew 13:12

• "If you feel guilty, and worry about not being a good person, then it's a sign that you are a good person. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise; bad people don't think about such things, and justify themselves as righteous." ~Suncha Ferreira/Psalm 51:17

2. The grass withers, the flowers fade, because the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass.
The grass withers, the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever. (Isaiah 40:7-8)

3. The world hates liabilities, and would rather they not exist, as much as the rules dictate that all life is inherently valuable. (Proverbs 25:17)

• Even in a community of liabilities, there is no place for a liability. (John 15:18)

4. You cannot experience death, for it would be like getting put under anesthesia. (Ecclesiastes 9:5)

5. Suicide is not a sin which leads to hell (separation), but rather, it is unbelief. (John 3:16-21)

6. Despite all that you do to make your exit foolproof, there is always that one percent chance you'll survive simply because it "wasn't your time yet". (Psalm 33:10-11)

Therefore, as much as I desire to live, and that a world without me would be awfully dull and grey, this isn't up to me; if I die, I die; though my father, mother, and the whole world forsake me, the Lord will bring me up. (Esther 4:11, Psalm 27:10)

I know this probably doesn't meant a lot but I've come across your comments a lot recently and it's comforting everytime

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

I know this probably doesn't meant a lot but I've come across your comments a lot recently and it's comforting everytime

Do not thank me; Suncha is the one you should thank.

 

[taker_of_insulin]

I feel you. I think that's why some people decide to use drugs. I did. Got clean a few times. Thoroughly fucked my life each time. But it makes the boredom and self pity tolerable

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Are you able to get a job so you can get out of the house?