Venting the little things

[clocktower]

this might sound stupid but just existing is so difficult. my autism makes everything unbearable. i can't stand numerous noises, textures, tastes and smells. but it isn't just a dislike - it's genuinely extremely distressing. i find myself struggling just to be awake and aware of what's going on around me because everything seems to trigger distress and/or irritation. sensory overload is hell. i can't even handle something as simple as two people talking at once while the tv is on. i just want to feel the absolute peace of ctb that i can never feel in the waking world. i may be "high functioning" but it doesn't feel like it. all this is without even mentioning the social side of things! i wish i'd never been born.

 

[Azzy69]

I'm so sorry, if you ever need somebody to chat to you can reach out to me

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

It sounds like torture by a thousand papercuts. I'm so sorry you experience this. I can't offer you anything more than my compassion, but it is sincere. Compassion is empathy with a desire to help, though not necessarily the ability to. I wish I could offer you more than that caring and heartfelt desire. I wish for your well-being, equanimity, freedom from suffering, and peace, whatever that looks like to you, however you choose and are able to achieve it. And of course, I place above all that what you wish for yourself. I wish for your agency. I wish I could provide the means for it.

 

[clocktower]

It sounds like torture by a thousand papercuts. I'm so sorry you experience this. I can't offer you anything more than my compassion, but it is sincere. Compassion is empathy with a desire to help, though not necessarily the ability to. I wish I could offer you more than that caring and heartfelt desire. I wish for your well-being, equanimity, freedom from suffering, and peace, whatever that looks like to you, however you choose and are able to achieve it. And of course, I place above all that what you wish for yourself. I wish for your agency. I wish I could provide the means for it.

reading this honestly brought tears to my eyes. thank you. from the bottom of my heart, thank you. i'll remember your words that you've so kindly sent my way.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

reading this honestly brought tears to my eyes. thank you. from the bottom of my heart, thank you. i'll remember your words that you've so kindly sent my way.

It is my pleasure. Whether you would have received it or not, it felt good to send, but it feels even better to have had a moment of connection that served as I genuinely wished it would. Whatever is as comforting as a hug for you, I send that, too, if you haven't already received it through my words.