Venting the guilt never leave

[iblamethemfr]

The guilt that I could've done something so this misery wouldn't continue. I feel guilty for not sparing myself earlier when I might've had chances to do it but I didn't do anything. Even now I still have chances to make things better but I still won't do it I don't know why I'm just too weak to do anything I just keep planning on killing myself even though maybe if I were braver my life would've been better

 

[skiski_what]

I feel the same way, and that guilt just won't leave me. I feel so lost. I honestly feel like my life wasn't meant for me, if that makes sense. Why am I even living the life I'm in right now for my outcome to be death regardless. I wish I could've at least made it a good life, not fucking up and being miserable. Instead I'm just thinking of cbt most of the time now. I might not know what's going on at your end, but I'm sure wherever you land, your guilt will leave, for you to be at peace.

 

[iblamethemfr]

I feel the same way, and that guilt just won't leave me. I feel so lost. I honestly feel like my life wasn't meant for me, if that makes sense. Why am I even living the life I'm in right now for my outcome to be death regardless. I wish I could've at least made it a good life, not fucking up and being miserable. Instead I'm just thinking of cbt most of the time now. I'm sure wherever you land, your guilt will leave, for you to be at peace.

That's what I'm saying that ctb is taking over my world when it should've been something else but also i don't blame myself entirely cause i didn't chose this life and these circumstances cause if my circumstances were better I'm sure i would've been better. ty for your words i hope you find peace too

 

[skiski_what]

That's what I'm saying that ctb is taking over my world when it should've been something else but also i don't blame myself entirely cause i didn't chose this life and these circumstances cause if my circumstances were better I'm sure i would've been better. ty for your words i hope you find peace too

Thank you. Life is harsh, and this really does feel like the only escape to a lot of people, me included, so I can sympathize.

 

[Chabrychek]

That's what I'm saying that ctb is taking over my world when it should've been something else but also i don't blame myself entirely cause i didn't chose this life and these circumstances cause if my circumstances were better I'm sure i would've been better. ty for your words i hope you find peace too

Exactly. I blame myself terribly for constantly sabotaging and ruining my life. On the other hand, did I really have a chance at all? With such terrible circumstances, with such an unfair fate? We behave this way because that is how life has shaped our minds. CTB in this context is the ultimate act of self-love to end this hell.

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

You are weak, and that's okay.

1. "You cannot please everyone; control the things you can control." ~Suncha Ferreira (Victus Group)/Mark 8:36, Matthew 13:12

2. The grass withers, the flowers fade, because the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass.
The grass withers, the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever. (Isaiah 40:7-8)

3. The world hates liabilities, and would rather they not exist, as much as the rules dictate that all life is inherently valuable. (Proverbs 25:17)

• Even in a community of liabilities, there is no place for a liability. (John 15:18)

Therefore, as much as I desire to live, and that a world without me would be awfully dull and grey, this isn't up to me; if I die, I die; though my father, mother, and the whole world forsake me, the Lord will bring me up. (Esther 4:11, Psalm 27:10)

 

[endboss]

Looking back, I can see how things might have turned out differently if I had acted differently, but I didn't know better at the time. Still I fucked up and will have to pay the ultimate price for it. It's more frightening than most would admit.

 

[PanaxMan]

The guilt that I could've done something so this misery wouldn't continue. I feel guilty for not sparing myself earlier when I might've had chances to do it but I didn't do anything. Even now I still have chances to make things better but I still won't do it I don't know why I'm just too weak to do anything I just keep planning on killing myself even though maybe if I were braver my life would've been better

I feel the same but looking back I was powerless of it all. It sucks that even changing my choices wouldn't have done anything

 

[iblamethemfr]

Exactly. I blame myself terribly for constantly sabotaging and ruining my life. On the other hand, did I really have a chance at all? With such terrible circumstances, with such an unfair fate? We behave this way because that is how life has shaped our minds. CTB in this context is the ultimate act of self-love to end this hell.

That's how i feel exactly. like i blame myself a lot too for ruining things and not doing anything to change my life, but at the same time i know i didn't choose these circumstances or become like this for no reason. CTB thoughts start taking over everything when your whole life feels built around surviving pain instead of actually living.

 

[Kanau_Nano]

I try my best not to think of things I feel guilty about. I definitely could've done more if i didn't think I'd ctb successfully by now.

I'm sorry you've been through so much guilt and pain. It definitely does take over your life. Big hugs to you