The Difficulty of Being Present

[Olm]

I have been struggling with being present for as long as I can remember. Whether I am resting, talking, walking, or engaging in the world around me, it is difficult for me to remain in the moment. My mental presence always begins to drift away as still frames of past events creep into the edges of my vision. No matter how hard I may focus on the present, there is yellowish glaze present; It makes it difficult to feel.

I always found it difficult to find feelings in the ongoing moments. I recognize where and when I should feel, however that coloration is never present within me. Perhaps the source of this comes from my inability to fully place myself in a state of "presentness."

Does anyone else find themselves in similar situations?

 

[Maudlin]

I really like your description... it paints a picture I can relate to in my mind.

I slip in and out of introspection, and have all my life. Observation is like anything else, it takes practice. That's how it is for me, at least. If I wasn't so prone to introspection, I could never recognize my different states of mind. Recognition is the first step to control... now I slip in and out of mental states almost at will, dependent on what I want to achieve at the time.

Occasionally life throws me a curve that shatters that control and that's what brought me to this site.

Your introspection is an asset, if you use it as such.

 

[Olm]

I really like your description... it paints a picture I can relate to in my mind.

I slip in and out of introspection, and have all my life. Observation is like anything else, it takes practice. That's how it is for me, at least. If I wasn't so prone to introspection, I could never recognize my different states of mind. Recognition is the first step to control... now I slip in and out of mental states almost at will, dependent on what I want to achieve at the time.

Occasionally life throws me a curve that shatters that control and that's what brought me to this site.

Your introspection is an asset, if you use it as such.

Thank you.

Finding a method of controlling mental states certainly a difficult affair. I did not think of the positive effects of standing between the present and what is beyond that glaze. You have given me much to think about.

 

[Maudlin]

You have given me much to think about.

As you gave me, friend.

I owe you the gratitude. You distracted me well, from my constant companion... pain.

Thank you.

 

[Olm]

As you gave me, friend.

I owe you the gratitude. You distracted me well, from my constant companion... pain.

Thank you.

I am grateful my musings have lessened your burdens, even if only temporarily. I certain your thoughts have lightened the load of others who read your thoughts on this topic.

 

[theboy]

me 2

 

[Pluto]

Sometimes the problem is multi-layered and the solution is a subtractive process. Try removing the layers of expectation, intention and judgement. Give up trying to be present. Stop trying to do anything in particular or achieve any particular state. Let thoughts, feelings and sensations be exactly as they are, as if there is no other way they could be (which is true, by the way). Stop trying to understand anything, or improve upon anything, or control anything.

Attempting to come up with a strategy to always be present in the future is itself feeding the noise-making faculty of the mind right now, which lets the same trouble-maker sneak in through the back door.

 

[Maudlin]

Sometimes the problem is multi-layered and the solution is a subtractive process. Try removing the layers of expectation, intention and judgement. Give up trying to be present. Stop trying to do anything in particular or achieve any particular state. Let thoughts, feelings and sensations be exactly as they are, as if there is no other way they could be (which is true, by the way). Stop trying to understand anything, or improve upon anything, or control anything.

Attempting to come up with a strategy to always be present in the future is itself feeding the noise-making faculty of the mind right now, which lets the same trouble-maker sneak in through the back door.

That first paragraph sounded a lot like Zen.

 

[Pluto]

That first paragraph sounded a lot like Zen.

Yes, in fact my teacher studied under a Zen master and refers to this process as natural meditaiton. It is impossible to do it wrong as it is devoid of any goal or intention.

 

[Maudlin]

Yes, in fact my teacher studied under a Zen master and refers to this process as natural meditaiton. It is impossible to do it wrong as it is devoid of any goal or intention.

Like Zazen. Were it not for the time I spent practicing it, I could not have kept my grip on sanity these last three years.

 

[Celerity]

I suspect this isn't the answer you're looking for necessarily, but isn't the habit of mind-wandering common to most people? You can try to change this tendency, of course, but I don't think you should be too hard on yourself about it.

If "living in the moment" were so natural, Zen Buddhism wouldn't be a thing, IMO.