tbh I don't know why I'm still on here

[Cauliflour]

I did nothing meaningful in my life to make me want to kill myself less, I just slowly stopped thinking about it as much to the point where I think more about potential YouTube video scripts more than I think about wanting to cause proper fucked up injuries to myself, which used to be so common a year ago that I started keeping a daily counter. Maybe it's just seeped its way into the subconsious, maybe it's just distracted cause I'm in a busy spot currently or maybe I'm just actually way healthier than I think and that I'm a poser this entire time. Nevermind the fact it's closing in on 5 years since I started cutting, it comes and goes, it'll come back soon (it better come back soon, my arms are starting to look naked). Really just shows therapy would be pointless to someone like me who can just "get better" randomly in a week or 2 for a week or month. Also this guarantees I can't make a cool autobiography because the writing would be atrocious "oh yeah it's just dissapeared eventually, no quest, no goal" like that's not how you write a compelling story!

Still sticking around though, I've been on here for a while now, feels weird to ditch it. Definitely doesn't feel the same though, I don't feel like I'm on a similar wavelength to everyone else here anymore, but I sure as hell don't feel like I'm on the same wavelength as the normies. Guess I'm just destined to be a loner...

 

[Rouge4000]

I did nothing meaningful in my life to make me want to kill myself less, I just slowly stopped thinking about it as much to the point where I think more about potential YouTube video scripts more than I think about wanting to cause proper fucked up injuries to myself, which used to be so common a year ago that I started keeping a daily counter. Maybe it's just seeped its way into the subconsious, maybe it's just distracted cause I'm in a busy spot currently or maybe I'm just actually way healthier than I think and that I'm a poser this entire time. Nevermind the fact it's closing in on 5 years since I started cutting, it comes and goes, it'll come back soon (it better come back soon, my arms are starting to look naked). Really just shows therapy would be pointless to someone like me who can just "get better" randomly in a week or 2 for a week or month. Also this guarantees I can't make a cool autobiography because the writing would be atrocious "oh yeah it's just dissapeared eventually, no quest, no goal" like that's not how you write a compelling story!

Still sticking around though, I've been on here for a while now, feels weird to ditch it. Definitely doesn't feel the same though, I don't feel like I'm on a similar wavelength to everyone else here anymore, but I sure as hell don't feel like I'm on the same wavelength as the normies. Guess I'm just destined to be a loner...

I haven't been here in 3 years. I think even if u left you'd come back like I did. Sometimes our comfort zones are just to irresistible to walk away from

 

[hurts2b]

I was at my least suicidal in HS when I was fully invested in both school and work. I encourage you to embrace that busy, grounder state. I'm unemployed and I miss my routine, unsuicidal existence pretty badly.

It might not be a good narrative. But, like, if it's a healthier mental state and a more livable life then who cares, y'know?

 

[sinnrr-sistrr]

Sometimes it's kinda like your own misery can like change from being a state to being an action. when it's a state, you can't do much about it except try to drown it out, but when it's something you subconsciously do to yourself, having to do other things slowly but surely replace that misery. It's like "dude I don't have time to wallow in my misery, i have an assignment due tomorrow" or "can we not do this rn? i'm trying to enjoy my off-hours" get me? x)

I was at my least suicidal in HS when I was fully invested in both school and work. I encourage you to embrace that busy, grounder state. I'm unemployed and I miss my routine, unsuicidal existence pretty badly.

It might not be a good narrative. But, like, if it's a healthier mental state and a more livable life then who cares, y'know?

Also, this! Your life is not a movie and you owe it to no one to be interesting! I'd rather my life be boring, but predictable and safe, rather than the drama netflix series it seriously felt like I was living through about a year ago!

Anyways, if you leave us behind, let's hope we never meet again (for the best!)
much luv~

 

[violetforever]

Still sticking around though, I've been on here for a while now, feels weird to ditch it. Definitely doesn't feel the same though, I don't feel like I'm on a similar wavelength to everyone else here anymore, but I sure as hell don't feel like I'm on the same wavelength as the normies. Guess I'm just destined to be a loner...

i couldve wrote this bc this is how im feeling lately too. i just fit in with nobody and nowhere so this is a decent place for me, or at least i think it is, bc i can freely express all the shit i cant with anyone or elsewhere. sometimes it really feels like all i have to turn to which gives an idea of how bad im doing in life lol. maybe this is all ive ever get and thats painful.