Seven Threads
Iterator
- Mar 5, 2023
- 115
I'm putting this in both sections of this forum, because I believe it is relevant both to individuals who are on the path to recovery as well as those who are presently experiencing the desire to ctb. If I have made an error in judgment doing so, please accept my apologies and direct me accordingly.
But we need to talk.
As many of you who live in the US already know or have experienced (and if you live elsewhere, pay attention anyway), this administration is going to be devastating to a great many individuals and communities. Truth be told, it already is. It's only been a week and a half, and the repercussions of the potus' policies are nothing short of disastrous. Lives are being and will continue to be shattered, and people are going to die. Possibly a lot of people, depending on how things go. Immigrants and people of color, women in general, trans folks and other members of the lgbtq+ community, all of them have targets on their backs now, and the policies being put forward will bring grievous harm to many who fall under these labels.
But not so much to folks like me. I am not an immigrant, nor a person of color. I'm not a woman, or trans. I -am- gay, but can act straight when I need to. At the end of the day, I am a white male in this country, in a blue state, where the savage effects of this administration's vitriol and bigotry will not be so severely felt. I have a secure career in an industry that will probably be okay, whatever else happens to the job market overall. I'm going to be okay.
Which makes it hard to look on and watch as whole communities of people, folks who don't look or sound or act like me, are forced to live in terror for their lives.
Truth be told, a lot of us probably feel helpless in the face of everything that's happening. It's just so much, way too much for any one person to be able to push back against. And even in communities, we can raise our voices, we can fight like hell, and it still might not change much or save a lot of people.
And that's a recipe for survivor's guilt, which is what I'd like to talk about today.
If you are not one of those actively being targeted under the current administration, but you care about these people, then it is very important to fight like hell, in any and every way that you can think of, to the extent that you are able. If you care about migrants, shop at migrant-owned grocery stores and businesses. If you care about trans rights, take part in and donate to your local lgbtq+ advocacy groups. If you care about women and bodily autonomy, make your views known, anywhere and everywhere, and support organizations challenging abortion laws all over the country. There are things that can be done, both with your money and your time, to try and push back against all the bigoted cruelty that is taking place in this country.
But understand, also, that we are fighting an uphill battle. The stakes are very high, and all the administrative power lies in the hands of our opponents. Even in the best scenario, where we win a whole lot of battles and manage to change things in the long run, so many lives will still be wholly upended before that happens.
Human beings, especially of the compassionate sort who care deeply about justice and human rights, tend to conflate victory in these areas with their sense of self. And, accordingly, they often do the same with failure. When people get hurt, when lives are shattered, when we can't protect the people we love and care about, we have a tendency to take this as a personal failing, and it can be extremely injurious to our sense of being.
What you have to understand, as all of this happens and these battles take place, is that you are one person. Do what you can, when you can, as you can, and fight like hell to the best of your ability. But also understand that people are going to be lost, and it is not your fault. The onus does not fall squarely up on your shoulders to save the world, nor the responsibility when evil people enact their evil ends on society at large.
Sometimes the best thing that we can do to honor the lost is to keep living our lives, to understand that it isn't our fault, and to lay the blame where it belongs. More importantly, you can't continue the fight if you fall into despair blaming yourself for things that are fundamentally out of your control.
We are all going to bear witness to so much pain and so much hardship over the next however many years this goes on, and we can't save everybody, or even most of everybody. Do what you can to save those you can, and accept that your role in history, like most ordinary people, isn't to save it on your own, but to write it down, so those who come after may learn from our mistakes.
Look out for each other, okay?
But we need to talk.
As many of you who live in the US already know or have experienced (and if you live elsewhere, pay attention anyway), this administration is going to be devastating to a great many individuals and communities. Truth be told, it already is. It's only been a week and a half, and the repercussions of the potus' policies are nothing short of disastrous. Lives are being and will continue to be shattered, and people are going to die. Possibly a lot of people, depending on how things go. Immigrants and people of color, women in general, trans folks and other members of the lgbtq+ community, all of them have targets on their backs now, and the policies being put forward will bring grievous harm to many who fall under these labels.
But not so much to folks like me. I am not an immigrant, nor a person of color. I'm not a woman, or trans. I -am- gay, but can act straight when I need to. At the end of the day, I am a white male in this country, in a blue state, where the savage effects of this administration's vitriol and bigotry will not be so severely felt. I have a secure career in an industry that will probably be okay, whatever else happens to the job market overall. I'm going to be okay.
Which makes it hard to look on and watch as whole communities of people, folks who don't look or sound or act like me, are forced to live in terror for their lives.
Truth be told, a lot of us probably feel helpless in the face of everything that's happening. It's just so much, way too much for any one person to be able to push back against. And even in communities, we can raise our voices, we can fight like hell, and it still might not change much or save a lot of people.
And that's a recipe for survivor's guilt, which is what I'd like to talk about today.
If you are not one of those actively being targeted under the current administration, but you care about these people, then it is very important to fight like hell, in any and every way that you can think of, to the extent that you are able. If you care about migrants, shop at migrant-owned grocery stores and businesses. If you care about trans rights, take part in and donate to your local lgbtq+ advocacy groups. If you care about women and bodily autonomy, make your views known, anywhere and everywhere, and support organizations challenging abortion laws all over the country. There are things that can be done, both with your money and your time, to try and push back against all the bigoted cruelty that is taking place in this country.
But understand, also, that we are fighting an uphill battle. The stakes are very high, and all the administrative power lies in the hands of our opponents. Even in the best scenario, where we win a whole lot of battles and manage to change things in the long run, so many lives will still be wholly upended before that happens.
Human beings, especially of the compassionate sort who care deeply about justice and human rights, tend to conflate victory in these areas with their sense of self. And, accordingly, they often do the same with failure. When people get hurt, when lives are shattered, when we can't protect the people we love and care about, we have a tendency to take this as a personal failing, and it can be extremely injurious to our sense of being.
What you have to understand, as all of this happens and these battles take place, is that you are one person. Do what you can, when you can, as you can, and fight like hell to the best of your ability. But also understand that people are going to be lost, and it is not your fault. The onus does not fall squarely up on your shoulders to save the world, nor the responsibility when evil people enact their evil ends on society at large.
Sometimes the best thing that we can do to honor the lost is to keep living our lives, to understand that it isn't our fault, and to lay the blame where it belongs. More importantly, you can't continue the fight if you fall into despair blaming yourself for things that are fundamentally out of your control.
We are all going to bear witness to so much pain and so much hardship over the next however many years this goes on, and we can't save everybody, or even most of everybody. Do what you can to save those you can, and accept that your role in history, like most ordinary people, isn't to save it on your own, but to write it down, so those who come after may learn from our mistakes.
Look out for each other, okay?
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