Story Surviving 14 of my attempts in a week

[aufrechtm7]

It proves that God is able to create or put humans in a state (shifted, transformed, or whatever else) to have a meaningful and blissful relationship with him without the ability to "rape children" which leaves no logical explanation as to why God insists that it is possible on Earth while he just watches.

An explanation is that our life on Earth can be considered some kind of test and that suffering is an unfortunate fact of reality that also happens to make people's faith stronger.

The further you go down the logic tree, the less coherent it gets and the more unfalsifiable the claims become. Religion by design cannot be followed perfectly and any moral failure, contradiction, or break in logic is explained away by bending interpretations of text or in some cases completely disregarding it.

And this is important to say because even though I'm not religious (I'm more of a deist or theist) I think people should be allowed to believe in whatever they hold true if it isn't at the expense of others. I'm steelmanning it here because I've been down that path already and the best answer for everything is simply having faith.

 

[Sunshine]

An explanation is that our life on Earth can be considered some kind of test and that suffering is an unfortunate fact of reality that also happens to make people's faith stronger.

The further you go down the logic tree, the less coherent it gets and the more unfalsifiable the claims become. Religion by design cannot be followed perfectly and any moral failure, contradiction, or break in logic is explained away by bending interpretations of text or in some cases completely disregarding it.

And this is important to say because even though I'm not religious (I'm more of a deist or theist) I think people should be allowed to believe in whatever they hold true if it isn't at the expense of others. I'm steelmanning it here because I've been down that path already and the best answer for everything is simply having faith.

But the test part falls apart because most of these religions believe that babies go to Heaven immediately without ever being tested. And those babies have meaningful relationships with God in Heaven, allegedly. So what explanation is left for God to allow the most horrible crap happen on Earth while just watching passively? I don't mind your perspective at all. I also think people should be allowed to believe what they want.

 

[aufrechtm7]

But the test part falls apart because most of these religions believe that babies go to Heaven immediately without ever being tested. And those babies have meaningful relationships with God in Heaven, allegedly. So what explanation is left for God to allow the most horrible crap happen on Earth while just watching passively? I don't mind your perspective at all. I also think people should be allowed to believe what they want.

And that's what's frustrating about it all…it doesn't actually fall apart because it relies on very circular reasoning that's supported by faith.

 

[Cyagangy]

Bullshit. If God is omnipotent and created the universe, he could simply decide what free will entails and define it differently. Even Christians and Muslims believe they have free will in Heaven WITHOUT being able to rape children, odd how that works, huh?

We do? I have never heard of the concept that in our own heavens we get free will. No one really knows besides interpretations of man. However, it's a given man is flawed. God could, that's up to interpretation to but I assume it as freedom of action but not freedom of consequence. You can deny his works or him or his laws and live as you want. After all everyone is there own little judge. I prefer not to judge myself or atleast try not to, but that's the gift of morality isn't it? It allows us to draw a line in what we believe is okay and not okay.

there's no scientific evidence for any "free will"

What?

 

[fadedghost]

We do? I have never heard of the concept that in our own heavens we get free will. No one really knows besides interpretations of man. However, it's a given man is flawed. God could, that's up to interpretation to but I assume it as freedom of action but not freedom of consequence. You can deny his works or him or his laws and live as you want. After all everyone is there own little judge. I prefer not to judge myself or atleast try not to, but that's the gift of morality isn't it? It allows us to draw a line in what we believe is okay and not okay.

What?

There is no indication that somehow humans magically were going to have several options and somehow use magic to switch between the options.

Humans evaluate situations, is door 1 better, door 2 better, door 3 better, but the evaluation itself takes places in the human brain adhering to the laws of physics. Because the human brain is too complex to mathematically model doesn't mean the math goes away, and just because the decisions are made with 3d neuronal analysis doesn't the decision could be anything.

If you see a bowl of fruit or piece of chicken and you are thinking of what to eat, the decision on what to eat will be made in a certain way according to the laws of physics. Brains are not a special region that lacks rules of physical properties and therefore, the outcome is predictable.

I am sorry if you don't understand this. Many advanced physicists, and I not one, don't believe in any gods, i do not believe in them either. But even if you believe, free will makes no logical sense because in human thinking there's always antecedent causes and processing in the brain leading to outcomes. The outcome is already "destined" or whatever you want to say. If you have to believe in magical beings in the sky who control the universe, at least become a Calvinist.

 

[Cyagangy]

There is no indication that somehow humans magically were going to have several options and somehow use magic to switch between the options.

Humans evaluate situations, is door 1 better, door 2 better, door 3 better, but the evaluation itself takes places in the human brain adhering to the laws of physics. Because the human brain is too complex to mathematically model doesn't mean the math goes away, and just because the decisions are made with 3d neuronal analysis doesn't the decision could be anything.

If you see a bowl of fruit or piece of chicken and you are thinking of what to eat, the decision on what to eat will be made in a certain way according to the laws of physics. Brains are not a special region that lacks rules of physical properties and therefore, the outcome is predictable.

I am sorry if you don't understand this. Many advanced physicists, and I not one, don't believe in any gods, i do not believe in them either. But even if you believe, free will makes no logical sense because in human thinking there's always antecedent causes and processing in the brain leading to outcomes. The outcome is already "destined" or whatever you want to say. If you have to believe in magical beings in the sky who control the universe, at least become a Calvinist.

I suppose you have a valid point there. Free will is limited to our knowledge.

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

My story is long and you might not have a ton of time so I put a TL:DR at the bottom of this post.




It was September 15th, the month beforehand I had gotten baptized to prepare myself for my end. I ate my last meal,drank my last drink and feasted. My room was clean for the last time I did the dishes and I had recorded all of my suicide audios for my friends and family. I had printed out a paper that linked my Google drive so my family could have my will and my last words. I say it neatly up on my chair and turn my LED's purple. I got out my turkey bag,ratchet strap and bean bags. I take two Tylenol and get into bed for the last time. Throughout the day I made myself a "good bye" playlist of all the music I listened to during my suicide. My last movie was "A silent voice". I put on my earbuds and play the song "Introduction to the snow" by miracle musical. I put the turkey bag over my head then the bean bags over my trachea before tightening my ratchet strap and laying down fully. Vividly I remember holding my Bible to my chest as I accepted death. I said my final prayers and began to suffocate. It was uncomfortable but not agonizing. My body wanted sleep but couldn't so I ended up taking my bag off and letting my ratchet straps finish me. My adrenaline also kicked in since either feared being caught but I continued. That was my first attempt in the night. I went to sleep as the next song began playing "Dream sweet in sea major". It put me at ease and YouTube played more calming music before I reattempted 20 minutes later. It would be hilarious if it wasn't pathetic. Regardless I reattempted after my other reattempt failed but I struggled more as it was 4 am. I would have to go into school soon. Still that didn't work and I ended up going to school with agonizing respiratory issues.




The next night I did more research and retried the night night method with two straps. I was PISSED it failed but I would get it this time. Again the bag method failed but I retried that night. I failed once more. I make a post with my frustrations and on Wednesday I buy gorilla tape to use with the straps.




Third night of attempts and I do several different positions and attempts, I yield nothing. I have about 12 attempts by this point and I wake up again. This time I'm late for school and my mom was going to catch me with my ratchet strap and gorilla tape. I feel my mind reeling, "God how could you do this so? I only wished to accept my fate but you deny me so. Again and again and again, embarrassing me."






4th night I take advantage of my clean room. I put my chair under my bed and I make a noise with the ratchets and tie something hard to the bean bags so it actually presses on my trachea. I drug myself again and I lay down with my neck in my make shift noose. I lay down as the opening of "dream sweet in sea major" played. As I drifted and choked I held my Bible closer. I smiled softly but I didn't cry. I was ready to be in the loving embrace of God. It was a gorgeous scene. Death was beautiful, I could never recreate that feeling. Thinking about it now it brings a tear to my eye the perfection of it! I laid down neck crooked as my song played in my ear buds. My body helping to dim the purple LED's around me as my clean room made my body the only thing to stand out there. On my side was my nite being held by a plushie and it was beautiful. This time I genuinely felt death grasp me. I dance with her once more im ready to accept fate. But I wake up at 3 am and retry again. I give up and go to sleep on my couch chair. The next morning I didn't bother removing my loft bed noose. I just let it be, I return back and it's still there left untouched.




3 nights after that I was alone in bed. I wanted to curse the good lords name but I held back and forth that God rewarded me. He came to me in a vision and told me how the world was going to end, tribulations was near and my suffering would suffice. He showed me the biblical end of times. Angels slaying man both tongue and blade with buildings crumbles about. People screaming in agony and I couldn't help but laugh. Not a laugh of enjoyment or hopelessness but it was one of relief. I let go of my inhibitions, it was 2 am my mom was in her room awake and I began laughing realizing it was over. It was inappropriate paradoxical laughter but a laugh I required so. I just wanted to dedicate this story to telling everyone how beautiful death truly is and how God can work in mysterious ways.




TLDR: I attempted to CTB 14 times with the night-night method but I'm a dumbass so it didn't work. Had a really cinematic almost death and planned it perfectly. 3 days after my last attempt God showed me the end of the world and I had a good laugh after receiving my biblical vision.

What song will you play during your suicide?

Grace by Jeff Buckley is possibly the perfect farewell song. Although being about death in general I think it can fit in the context of suicide as well.

sanctioned-suicide.net

Attempting one last time with Night-Night

At this point I might be the biggest Night-Night defender out there but I managed to get some help from a friend in tying down the damn ratchet. Now I can properly attempt it. If I don't post anything for 2 days then I succeeded but if I survive this one then I'm really just going to quit it and...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Failed 5 times in 2 days

I said I would just take it as a sign to live if I fail once but failing five fucking times in two nights has me feeling even more pissed off. I think I might try partial suspension or sum.

sanctioned-suicide.net

My final day on earth+last meal

Welp today is Sunday! Made my final meal last night, went to church and got right with God this morning, hopped on call with my family and friends said goodbye. I have my tape,scissors, ratchet strap,turkey bag and bean bags ready. For my last meal I had Fried Oreos,"Kuzunoha" (drink I made up...

sanctioned-suicide.net

This has me in tears. I'm a Born Again Christian. A kind person sent this to me. I've been so obsessed with wanting to kill myself and just be with Jesus.

The other night I had my head in my slipknot and even begged Jesus to show me if this was right. Up to that point, I'd had no trouble getting to the point of blacking out. Once I said that prayer, I could not get it to work.

But, lo and Behold, I went back to it later. I just want do much to leave this wretched world. I can't stop obsessing over my suicide and it's slowly destroying me!

 

[etherealgoddess]

My story is long and you might not have a ton of time so I put a TL:DR at the bottom of this post.




It was September 15th, the month beforehand I had gotten baptized to prepare myself for my end. I ate my last meal,drank my last drink and feasted. My room was clean for the last time I did the dishes and I had recorded all of my suicide audios for my friends and family. I had printed out a paper that linked my Google drive so my family could have my will and my last words. I say it neatly up on my chair and turn my LED's purple. I got out my turkey bag,ratchet strap and bean bags. I take two Tylenol and get into bed for the last time. Throughout the day I made myself a "good bye" playlist of all the music I listened to during my suicide. My last movie was "A silent voice". I put on my earbuds and play the song "Introduction to the snow" by miracle musical. I put the turkey bag over my head then the bean bags over my trachea before tightening my ratchet strap and laying down fully. Vividly I remember holding my Bible to my chest as I accepted death. I said my final prayers and began to suffocate. It was uncomfortable but not agonizing. My body wanted sleep but couldn't so I ended up taking my bag off and letting my ratchet straps finish me. My adrenaline also kicked in since either feared being caught but I continued. That was my first attempt in the night. I went to sleep as the next song began playing "Dream sweet in sea major". It put me at ease and YouTube played more calming music before I reattempted 20 minutes later. It would be hilarious if it wasn't pathetic. Regardless I reattempted after my other reattempt failed but I struggled more as it was 4 am. I would have to go into school soon. Still that didn't work and I ended up going to school with agonizing respiratory issues.




The next night I did more research and retried the night night method with two straps. I was PISSED it failed but I would get it this time. Again the bag method failed but I retried that night. I failed once more. I make a post with my frustrations and on Wednesday I buy gorilla tape to use with the straps.




Third night of attempts and I do several different positions and attempts, I yield nothing. I have about 12 attempts by this point and I wake up again. This time I'm late for school and my mom was going to catch me with my ratchet strap and gorilla tape. I feel my mind reeling, "God how could you do this so? I only wished to accept my fate but you deny me so. Again and again and again, embarrassing me."






4th night I take advantage of my clean room. I put my chair under my bed and I make a noise with the ratchets and tie something hard to the bean bags so it actually presses on my trachea. I drug myself again and I lay down with my neck in my make shift noose. I lay down as the opening of "dream sweet in sea major" played. As I drifted and choked I held my Bible closer. I smiled softly but I didn't cry. I was ready to be in the loving embrace of God. It was a gorgeous scene. Death was beautiful, I could never recreate that feeling. Thinking about it now it brings a tear to my eye the perfection of it! I laid down neck crooked as my song played in my ear buds. My body helping to dim the purple LED's around me as my clean room made my body the only thing to stand out there. On my side was my nite being held by a plushie and it was beautiful. This time I genuinely felt death grasp me. I dance with her once more im ready to accept fate. But I wake up at 3 am and retry again. I give up and go to sleep on my couch chair. The next morning I didn't bother removing my loft bed noose. I just let it be, I return back and it's still there left untouched.




3 nights after that I was alone in bed. I wanted to curse the good lords name but I held back and forth that God rewarded me. He came to me in a vision and told me how the world was going to end, tribulations was near and my suffering would suffice. He showed me the biblical end of times. Angels slaying man both tongue and blade with buildings crumbles about. People screaming in agony and I couldn't help but laugh. Not a laugh of enjoyment or hopelessness but it was one of relief. I let go of my inhibitions, it was 2 am my mom was in her room awake and I began laughing realizing it was over. It was inappropriate paradoxical laughter but a laugh I required so. I just wanted to dedicate this story to telling everyone how beautiful death truly is and how God can work in mysterious ways.




TLDR: I attempted to CTB 14 times with the night-night method but I'm a dumbass so it didn't work. Had a really cinematic almost death and planned it perfectly. 3 days after my last attempt God showed me the end of the world and I had a good laugh after receiving my biblical vision.

What song will you play during your suicide?

Grace by Jeff Buckley is possibly the perfect farewell song. Although being about death in general I think it can fit in the context of suicide as well.

sanctioned-suicide.net

Attempting one last time with Night-Night

At this point I might be the biggest Night-Night defender out there but I managed to get some help from a friend in tying down the damn ratchet. Now I can properly attempt it. If I don't post anything for 2 days then I succeeded but if I survive this one then I'm really just going to quit it and...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Failed 5 times in 2 days

I said I would just take it as a sign to live if I fail once but failing five fucking times in two nights has me feeling even more pissed off. I think I might try partial suspension or sum.

sanctioned-suicide.net

My final day on earth+last meal

Welp today is Sunday! Made my final meal last night, went to church and got right with God this morning, hopped on call with my family and friends said goodbye. I have my tape,scissors, ratchet strap,turkey bag and bean bags ready. For my last meal I had Fried Oreos,"Kuzunoha" (drink I made up...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Can you talk more about your vision or visions? I'm spiritual, and this is very interesting. Thank you so much for sharing We are here for you

"I try not to judge an omnipotent God who could save raped children with ease but instead prefers to watch them get raped. Everyone has their own quirks, ok?"

This is so not funny, but I died laughing

 

[scoba32]

Can you talk more about your vision or visions? I'm spiritual, and this is very interesting. Thank you so much for sharing We are here for you

This is so not funny, but I died laughing

wow where does ur pfp come from

 

[etherealgoddess]

I

wow where does ur pfp come from

I set that as my PFP sooo long ago. It was actually before AI. I can't remember haha but thanks it is a beautiful picture

 

[scoba32]

I

I set that as my PFP sooo long ago. It was actually before AI. I can't remember haha but thanks it is a beautiful picture

that is the most gorgeous woman i have ever seen haha funny that it's ai