What is up, down, left or right? I don't know how to do anything. I can make coffee, consume nicotine and sleep. Idk how to go forward, or if I want to. What's helped y'all? Been about a week since the attempt.
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UsagiDrop
“What a beautiful day to haunt the earth.”
- Apr 27, 2023
- 299
It's been years since my attempt. Obviously I'm on this forum so I haven't recovered lol, but I am still here. I don't know if this makes sense, but the uncertainty of tomorrow kept me going and still keeps me going.
This is going to sound
positive but it did help me. Even if all I did today was despair, I never know what could happen tomorrow, and morbid curiosity is a reason to stay. Most days were bad. Most days still are bad. But if I died, there are things I would have missed out on, and things that I will miss out on. These days, I definitely still want to kill myself. I don't even really fight that fact anymore. But as long as I'm deciding to stay, as long as I have to stay, the fact that I don't know what will happen tomorrow is something to look forward to. Whether tomorrow is good or bad, it's still going to be a surprise for me. And maybe it might be the day I find a reason to live, or it might be the last straw that makes me want to leave— either way, at least I lived to see it.
Since this is on this side of the forum, I'm guessing you're looking for things to keep you going. Everyone always says hobbies but it's true. Just finding something to pass the time and give you purpose helps. Finding something that you feel good at doing definitely helps. Is there anything that you've been wanting to try?
deleted442
Getting closer
- Jun 7, 2023
- 91
Try again my friend, that's what I'm going to do. Whatever that means to you whether it be another day or the other thing.
For what it's worth I keep attempting and failing but much like life, one day I'll succeed.
Grimpoteuthis
Your deep sea friend
- Jul 1, 2023
- 84
Personally I stopped being actively suicidal after the attempt but it could be completely different for you. For now the main thing that troubles me is anhedonia but that is definitely more bearable. It might be useful to set a date weeks/months/years from now for another attempt and enjoy (?) life as much as you can before that. At least this is my goal.
