Suicide is ok

[Water-Lily]

I suppose this is mostly a monologue for myself but I wanted to get my thoughts out my head
I am suffering a lot. Mostly due to trauma that has accumulated to a point where I don't want to recover in fear of being hurt again
Pain is inevitable even in recovery. Then there are other factors that has left my life in peril
I know that even if I do accomplish my dreams of graduation, grad school, and other things, I can still feel miserable and want to die
Mainly because I am not tackling the root cause of my issues which is trauma
However, facing those traumas is what will hurt me
I'd rather run away than to stare back at the very people that pushed me to die and subjected me to horrible abuse
Some people would rather run away and die than face the truth and I am one of them
I wish suicide was easier for people like me. People who are too afraid to heal and would rather just give up
I don't want to try anymore. I don't want to be open to new ideas that could hurt me
I don't want a possibility or world where I am healed
That is the scariest reality of them all
I hate myself so much that if assisted suicide was available where I lived I would take it
Better than being in suffering

 

[WornOutLife]

I would be the first in line if assisted suicide was available in my country so I can relate.
Hope you can feel better soon although I know it's not easy.

 

[Pen>Sword]

Yes, I agree. We shouldn't be forced to live in a world that we don't consent to. Your reasons are valid.

 

[Superdeterminist]

For me, suicide is more an act of self-love than self-hatred. It's not ideal (living happily would be better), but living happily seems impossible.

 

[fred farkle]

too late,for me,to live happily!bwhen i get some extra dough,i will buy SN!