I wanna suicide now , I've considered this before too but I recovered going for one last blow to comeback through my downfall. So I'm actually in no mood of typing the whole story so I'd keep it short .
I have always been a multi talented student , either it be games or sports or any other field. You can call me jack of all trades, but master of none. but during my final years of school came into a relationship with a very toxic girl who destroyed my mental health like anything. Like seeing your girlfriend's nude in someone else's phone while she's talking to you was just a small part of that story. Due to the decline in my mental health my physical health also got fucked up. I got diagnosed with tuberculosis. after sometime I came into another relationship in the same year but this girl was healthy , like emotionally. And I really loved her, she did too but due to my illness my studies were also at stake so I started giving her some less time and focusing on my studies which was temporary but then she also broke up and I couldn't clear my entrance exams either that totally destroyed me, then I went into deep depression and during that time when you need your parents to support you , I got tortured by my parents for not living upto their expectation , they even broke my arm once and I also got frustrated and started fighting with them, sometimes physically too. During that time I tried to attempt suicide many times but didn't have that much courage . I even use to take KNO3- a salt that can act as a mild poison but lethal if taken in large amount, I did it in a hope that I would get some chronic internal damage and I'd die but that didn't work. after 8 months of home isolation I went out with a friend of mine that healed me a little and after some time I decided I'd go to japan this year by cracking the exam of a scholarship and I started preparing for that and for bouncing back but just today I was supposed to appear for another exam and couldn't reach in time , that might cost me another drop year and another year of torture from parents, after today I just have 2 options in mind either I can appear for that japanese exam but no guarantee if I'll get selected cause the selection rate is too low and the second option is to just die as I don't want to go through the same shit again. I ask you guys to help me out with ways in which I can die with min pain and I won't need any money.
I have always been a multi talented student , either it be games or sports or any other field. You can call me jack of all trades, but master of none. but during my final years of school came into a relationship with a very toxic girl who destroyed my mental health like anything. Like seeing your girlfriend's nude in someone else's phone while she's talking to you was just a small part of that story. Due to the decline in my mental health my physical health also got fucked up. I got diagnosed with tuberculosis. after sometime I came into another relationship in the same year but this girl was healthy , like emotionally. And I really loved her, she did too but due to my illness my studies were also at stake so I started giving her some less time and focusing on my studies which was temporary but then she also broke up and I couldn't clear my entrance exams either that totally destroyed me, then I went into deep depression and during that time when you need your parents to support you , I got tortured by my parents for not living upto their expectation , they even broke my arm once and I also got frustrated and started fighting with them, sometimes physically too. During that time I tried to attempt suicide many times but didn't have that much courage . I even use to take KNO3- a salt that can act as a mild poison but lethal if taken in large amount, I did it in a hope that I would get some chronic internal damage and I'd die but that didn't work. after 8 months of home isolation I went out with a friend of mine that healed me a little and after some time I decided I'd go to japan this year by cracking the exam of a scholarship and I started preparing for that and for bouncing back but just today I was supposed to appear for another exam and couldn't reach in time , that might cost me another drop year and another year of torture from parents, after today I just have 2 options in mind either I can appear for that japanese exam but no guarantee if I'll get selected cause the selection rate is too low and the second option is to just die as I don't want to go through the same shit again. I ask you guys to help me out with ways in which I can die with min pain and I won't need any money.
