Suicide and Control

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I am a control freak. This is well-known by everyone who knows me, and I admit it freely.

I wonder how much of my desire to ctb is rooted in my need to seek control over a set of circumstances over which I would have no control. Is it perhaps because I want control over the narrative of my life? My life has gotten so unmanageable, that the only way to take control is to end it.

Has anyone else ever felt this or have any thoughts about this?

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I would never identify the "need to have control" as one of the primary reasons why I want to CTB before, but now that I read this post I think I can relate. I think this is why I feel so out of place on recovery-oriented sites when many people are desperately wishing for someone to take responsibility for their life and to take control away from them so they can't hurt themselves. I believe that many people can relate to this idea of using suicide as the last resort to control your life's narrative, especially on this forum.

I think when suicide is not portrayed in a purely negative light in media, but rather as something neutral, it is usually how it is presented - as a last resort to still make your own choices and remain in control when all other control was taken away from you. This is the kind of reasoning behind suicide that most people can more or less get on board with.

The only problem with this is that sometimes when you get emotional, you feel more helpless and out of control that you actually are, and that might push you to look to the most drastic measures. Being in control also means taking responsibility, and when you're responsible it's important to think things through on a cool head and weight all pros and cons.

 

[Ghost2211]

Well, there are different roots to something like control. A sense of helplessness or complete lack of control in ones life can lead to suicide as a way of gaining control, but not in a malicious way.

 

[woxihuanni]

Well, there are different roots to something like control. A sense of helplessness or complete lack of control in ones life can lead to suicide as a way of gaining control, but not in a malicious way.

Precisely. I'd go further to say anybody who controls somebody to the degree that the other party has no other possible act of volution than exit, they have to be arrested for murder and hanged.