Suicidality increases overtime

[noname223]

I think many know this. The more crisis you have the more suicidal one gets. I always say if something extremely bad happens I gonna ctb 100%. When I was young I thought i would ctb immediately. Today I know how difficult it is. However I noticed my suicidality has an inner logic. With every crisis I get closer to suicide. My plans become more precise. And my will to do it becomes stronger. Especially because I've barely hope for a better future. I am not 100% sure the next breakdown will be my end. But I am pretty sure there will be an end if life goes on like this.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yeah, I think there is only so much one human being can take until they completely lose the will to live. There is literally no limit as to how bad things can get and we don't know what the future holds so we spend our days filled with dread. The more bad things that happen the more we mentally deteriorate. I just don't see this life as worth it and for me not existing is better.

 

[Lostblackchild]

suicidal thoughts all day today. I'm losing my mind.

 

[LenkaX]

I think that the biggest issue with suicide is, that you cannot just try it and if you will not like the afterlife, then return back. Nobody knows if suicide is really a solution and there is not even something worse. As long as we live, we can contemplate suicide, but once we do it, there's no coming back. I like what theosophists say: "There is no escape from responsibility.", and they suggest to avoid suicide at all costs.

But no, I'm no pro-lifer, I'm myself really close to CTB. I'm very on the edge because I live in depressing social isolation and I know that I have no value to anybody. I'm just a below average shit, although I had strong ambitions some 20 years ago, but it all came in vain.

It's so terrifying to be with one leg in the grave and with the other leg still in the reality of life :-(

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes, I totally agree.

I'm probably at my limit and if something really bad happens to me on the next days, I might just jump off my building in spite of being really scared of that.