Suicidal, yet self harm is not appealing

[Sweetsinking]

This is not glorifying or criticizing self harm (physical)

Does anyone else relate to this? I honestly don't know if this post makes sense, I'm just thinking. I've self harmed in the past in multiple ways physically, and it's never truly been 'appealing' to me emotionally. It just makes me feel like an outlier since it's typically common in groups of people like us, but as much as i 'feel an urge', it's never been 'satisfying' imo. Typically I just do when I'm sad and bored. I'm not into the stinging after pain, and the processes for anything else is just too long for me. I really only do it to manifest(?) how i feel visually.

I was just wondering if anyone else feels this way or why.

 

[windows7enjoyer]

I feel you, i used to cut almost everyday in the past but now it isn't even yk making me feel anything pain or whatever so I just stopped

 

[leaving_soon22]

I've never cut myself, I'd want to just get it all over with in an instant if I could.

 

[diviosd]

I feel this too. It just stopped doing anything for me after a while. It doesn't satisfy anything, it just. Hurts.

 

[EternalShore]

I mean, kinda? I've never self-harmed myself as life is already pain enough for that~ but then again, I've never felt the urge to either~ I'm sure many of us with chronic pain would relate to that too~ :)

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I have never self-harmed or had any urge to. When I feel emotional pain the last thing I want is to experience physical pain.

The one exception is when I've been very upset I would occasionally hit my head on something like a wall. The last time I did that I hit my head on a window and broke the glass, that really scared me because I could have sliced up my face and eyes if I'd gone further through the glass. I stopped doing that, because to be honest I'm just focused on CTB instead now.

 

[cme-dme]

When I was younger I'd sometimes hit myself. I remember once I scratched my arm until it was all red and tender in frustration. These things don't really happen today. I have never felt the urge to self harm although there have been a few times where I almost did it just to see what it was like but never went through with it.

 

[My Melancholy]

I understand what you mean. Though I've felt depressed for a long time, my interest and knowledge of self harm was only a recent development. I've only done it a few times and it just doesn't give me the emotional release that other's have expressed.

I do also think it might be a slight case of narcissism. I want my body to look as nice as it can when I'm discovered.

Not to disparage on those with scars though. You carry with you the physical embodiment of your emotional turmoil and I believe there is something to be said for that.

 

[always_sad]

I used to self harm when I was younger to releave emotional pain but it was too stressful to hide wounds and scars. So I stopped. Sometimes I get urges but I know it's not worth it so I don't do anything
There are scars on my left forearm, I like to look at them sometimes... I don't know why