Suicidal ancestor

[Lextyle]

What do you feel when you imagine that many of your ancestors may have been actively suicidal at one point in life but then SI didn't let them do it then they had sex and continued your ancestry? The fact that we have so many mechanisms to keep us from committing suicide suggests that we have probably many ancestors whom that mechanism "saved" and they reproduced. I honestly kind of fear of becoming such ancestor if I don't commit suicide. Because I think that life is terrible thing and we always suffer or feel constant deficiency in something that makes us move every day without any point and giving short bursts of happiness to keep us doing the things that aid the survival and reproduction. I really fear being this mechanism and some day if I don't die my brain pushes me to reproduce and continue this infinite chain of suffering changing mind reproducing continuing suffering mostly just like it could have been for many of my ancestors.

 

[LastLightFade...]

What do you feel when you imagine that many of your ancestors may have been actively suicidal at one point in life but then SI didn't let them do it then they had sex and continued your ancestry? The fact that we have so many mechanisms to keep us from committing suicide suggests that we have probably many ancestors whom that mechanism "saved" and they reproduced.

I know that one of mine has tried to commit suicide they told me themself I'm glad they didn't really does make me consider if I want to truly do it I'm very conflicted when it comes to suicide.

 

[LittleJem]

I had maybe a great uncle who did. I heard it hush hush mentioned once

 

[charlavail]

everyone on my fathers side is fucked mentally and i'm just following the lead. they however decided on a slow death of pills and alcohol although someone like a great great something did try. I am drinking a lot recently but I think I'd rather quicken my inevitable demise.

 

[Claymore7274]

my uncle shot himself with his father's shotgun when he was 19, only he knew what was going through his head, then my grandpa followed.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

No need to reproduce if you don't want to. CTBing in the near future isn't your only way around that. Plenty of people live long lives without ever reproducing, you just need to decide & stick to your decision.

 

[violetforever]

What do you feel when you imagine that many of your ancestors may have been actively suicidal at one point in life but then SI didn't let them do it then they had sex and continued your ancestry?

well one of my relatives did get married and reproduce and still committed suicide later on in life. i resent my family for continuing our ancestry. its full of generational abuse and everyone is unhappy. just today my grandma shared with me that my dad was most likely sexually abused in his childhood. i knew his childhood was rough and full of abandonment but thats another layer of pain. another family detail to add to my suicidal thoughts.