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Cyaneed

Cyaneed

Member
Jul 9, 2026
29
Just wondering. I have chronic suicidal ideation most of the time. Which is even worse during depression/mixed bipolar. But also while I'm in remission. Are there anyone else in here that also feels like this? I just feel weird about this. I mean. Who in their right mind wish to CTB while being happy?
 
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YourLocalEdgelord

Member
Feb 3, 2026
80
Personally, I'd love to actually do something with the life I was given. I'm a rather cheerful person (if I don't wear my social mask that is) and I've always had many interests.

But poverty, greed, climate disasters, politics, and trauma make me think about death every single fucking day. I can't believe this is the world we live in. What a cruel joke.

I stopped labeling myself mentally ill, a problem, or whatever it is they want me to believe. This isn't my fault.
 
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Cyaneed

Cyaneed

Member
Jul 9, 2026
29
Personally, I'd love to actually do something with the life I was given. I'm a rather cheerful person (if I don't wear my social mask that is) and I've always had many interests.

But poverty, greed, climate disasters, politics, and trauma make me think about death every single fucking day. I can't believe this is the world we live in. What a cruel joke.

I stopped labeling myself mentally ill, a problem, or whatever it is they want me to believe. This isn't my fault.
I've always been told I'm the problem. A fucking joke that should be euthanized. But yeah, the world is a cruel joke. I hate it with all my heart
 
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Reactions: YourLocalEdgelord
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YourLocalEdgelord

Member
Feb 3, 2026
80
I've always been told I'm the problem. A fucking joke that should be euthanized. But yeah, the world is a cruel joke. I hate it with all my heart
It's never a person's own fault. Because wanting to die is so fun, right?? It's all systematic gaslighting. They wanna put us to work, so they'll do all they can to make sure we're no longer able to question the things around us.
 
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Cyaneed

Cyaneed

Member
Jul 9, 2026
29
It's never a person's own fault. Because wanting to die is so fun, right?? It's all systematic gaslighting. They wanna put us to work, so they'll do all they can to make sure we're no longer able to question the things around us.
It's like they hate everyone that's different
 
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Reactions: itsgone2
ugulamugula

ugulamugula

Autism/BPD/Chronic Depression
Mar 25, 2026
47
Just wondering. I have chronic suicidal ideation most of the time. Which is even worse during depression/mixed bipolar. But also while I'm in remission. Are there anyone else in here that also feels like this? I just feel weird about this. I mean. Who in their right mind wish to CTB while being happy?
I can completely understand you. I have autism, and due to that i am chronically depressed and suicidal. Im even suicidal, when im happy.
 
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Reactions: dirkw83, Cyaneed and YourLocalEdgelord
Cepheuss

Cepheuss

Experienced
Apr 17, 2023
242
Its okay im the same no matter what or how mych better my life is going i'll always be suicidal you could find me at any point give me a loaded gun and a countdown and id go
 
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Reactions: Cyaneed

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