Venting Still suicidal

[TJuk]

Still suffering, still suicidal despite trying to improve my life.

I restarted college course to hopefully go to university in September 2023, my current course finishes march 2023 - I still feel useless, a burden, like suicide is the best and only option. I'm also doing EMDR therapy for my complex PTSD.

I feel like a failure at life.

The voices,selfharm, the nightmare neighbour next door, physical pain and the limitations that come with my physical disability ontop of my mental health are going to beat me.

Is it even possible to recover? Live a fairly normal average life with a job etc as it really doesn't feel like it.

 

[Weebster]

Emdr helping? I'm doing it too. I'm not convinced that it helps.

 

[TJuk]

It's helped abit on the less serious trauma, but not so much the worse trauma, and the more prolonged trauma I experienced.

The EMDR therapist got me to sign a contract of no severe selfharm so needing medical attention or no suicide attempts, however if I die I wouldn't recieve therapy anyway as I'd be dead so that makes no sense

It helps more than CBT

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, it sounds so awful and tiring what you are going through. I hope you find relief from your pain and I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[TJuk]

Thanks it is highly likely il kill myself it is just a matter of when. However I don't have dates planned.

I still intend on trying my EMDR therapy for now