Still here but maybe there's an out!

[Mors927]

I don't want to celebrate my birthday, I'm so fucking lonely all the time, I can't find or see the beauty of the world or existing! I ruined so many internet friendships, and I can't stay around for year five. Everything just gets worse every year.

But I'm going to be attending college classes in person soon, and I'm considering CTB in the bathroom after classes. Don't worry I will be leaving a note on the stall saying "don't open, call 911".

 

[Sisyphus]

Have you talked to anybody about how you have been feeling lately? Not necessarily your plans, but how you are are lonely and unhappy?

 

[Mors927]

Have you talked to anybody about how you have been feeling lately? Not necessarily your plans, but how you are are lonely and unhappy?

A little bit here and there. And then A LOT sometimes.
I think I managed to fuck up things with anyone who might've cared. At this point they won't know how bad I've been till I kill myself.

 

[Sisyphus]

Nah man, don't let it be like that. Tell people how you feel.

 

[Mors927]

Nah man, don't let it be like that. Tell people how you feel.

Yeah, because I really have anyone at this point. I've annoyed the shit out of everyone or pushed them away. I got what I wanted, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

[Sisyphus]

Yeah, because I really have anyone at this point. I've annoyed the shit out of everyone or pushed them away. I got what I wanted, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you got what you wanted then I hope you continue to get what you want.

 

[Mors927]

If you got what you wanted then I hope you continue to get what you want.

I wanted to be left alone with nobody caring about me, so I could kill myself peacefully. Seems like that's coming pretty soon.

 

[Mors927]

Wouldn't someone be found and saved quickly between classes in a school bathroom as soon as someone sees the note?

I'm going to use the bathroom after I've finished classes/need to go home. Now that I think of it might just leave the note on the floor partially out of the stall, or I might not leave a note.

 

[Jumping_realms]

I'm going to use the bathroom after I've finished classes/need to go home. Now that I think of it might just leave the note on the floor partially out of the stall, or I might not leave a note.

Yeah, I re-read your post and saw it said after classes and thought maybe that would work if people weren't there anymore.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

 

[Mors927]

Yeah, I re-read your post and saw it said after classes and thought maybe that would work if people weren't there anymore.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Don't be. I'll finally get some peace, I'll get what I want.

 

[Jumping_realms]

Don't be. I'll finally get some peace, I'll get what I want.

Gotcha. I feel like that too about me CTB, but it still sucks I have to do it at my age.

I hope you find peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

Living can be painful, it can be hard to be in a hopeless situation, I understand. I wish you peace if this is what you decide.