Venting Someone to be there

[DignifiedGrave]

Hello all. This is another update on my hanging. I think it might be this weekend if all goes well. The last two things holding me back is that I need to do some hygiene like showering and brushing my teeth, and clean my room.
I guess I just want,,, a dignified grave.
Anyway. Today I'm cleaning my room after work and getting myself cleaned up.

Then my weekend starts Thursday.
Unless i skip that day, we'll see in time.
Recently, Ive thought a lot about wishing to have someone with me when I die.
I wish I could spend the whole day of my crossover with someone who would be by my side, not judge, even stay with me until death.

Ill probably hang myself very early morning. Unfortunately for me my family is always at home and everyone stays up very late.
So Ill choose a day and time when the least people are home and when im least likely to be discovered before death.
Probably sunday night/monday morning.
After my dad has left for work and while my family are all passed out from being up all night again.
If i fail, i have SN coming in and just need anti emetics.

This weekend ill likely ctb and start a goodbye that morning or hours before.
Until then, thank you all. My stay has been great and until my ctb ill continue being active and to update.
Im confident ill have a peaceful and clean crossover this weekend.

 

[0dysseus]

How old are you if I may ask?
Also, know only peace

 

[FF777]

wait, you have stuff coming in and want to try to CTB before that?.. wouldn't it be beneficial to have an immediate back-up CTB plan that you don't have to wait on, just in case the main plan fails for what ever reason?.. meaning, maybe you should postpone your main plan until you have a complete back-up plan ready too?..

 

[DignifiedGrave]

wait, you have stuff coming in and want to try to CTB before that?.. wouldn't it be beneficial to have an immediate back-up CTB plan that you don't have to wait on, just in case the main plan fails for what ever reason?.. meaning, maybe you should postpone your main plan until you have a complete back-up plan ready too?..

I see what you're saying and ive thought about it but Im pretty confident hanging will work. The sn as a backup was always more of an afterthought for me anyway.
But yeah, we'll see.
To be honest, I just feel ready to go and cant see myself wanting to wait so much as even another week.
Though i might take out and stash a little cash. That way if hanging dont work at home and everything gets taken, though i doubt sn would be found out about, I do think emergency cash for a extra rope down the line helps in case I decided to use a tree. I do live by a forest. I really prefer to die in my room though and in the noose.
But if somethings happens and I do see myself live long enough to see my sn arrive and secure anti emetics then I may just go with that.

 

[DignifiedGrave]

How old are you if I may ask?
Also, know only peace

I am 23 years old. Maybe most won't consider that very long to live, I feel its been enough.