So lost but trying to live if I can’t decide to die

[burninghill]

If my suicidality is going to remain passive, I've decided to commit to just… trying my best to live with it until the time comes where I can't take it anymore, but I genuinely feel so empty and there's nothing I can do about it.

Nothing is fun or makes me happy, I don't feel anything deeply enough for it to matter, it's all fleeting and pointless. I'm trying my best to feel good, going out often and keeping up academically, it just never works. I'm going to fail forever and I will never be satisfied

 

[violetforever]

this is basically how im living until i figure out another ctb method too. i function to merely drift through each day. i really try for more but it brings me nothing. i always end up at the same place in my mind every night when i turn the lights off and get into bed.