BrainSplatter
Member
- Oct 31, 2025
- 86
I've not slept in 3 days or eaten in 4 days I don't have any energy willpower strength to do anything my bladder aches become I'm severely dehydrated but I'm content in it. It makes me wonder how much more my body would take would this been a painful death I've been using multiple drugs and vomiting but I still continue it's the only thing keeping my mind clear right now otherwise I think I'd be in a catatonic like state I've literally just lied on my sofa for days now only getting up to pee or use more drugs. Court proceedings haven't even begun yet for my son I want to wait for them to rule his adoption but now my thoughts have become much darker. I'm having strong urges to CTB I have some heroin vodka pregabs and meth my body's already in a fragile state would that make it easier. I also have a backpack right outside my doorstep I filled it up on Monday with the gravel stones surrounding my house I've been thinking about weighted drowning as a method for me but yet I'm still here lying in the sofa like I have been for days now… I'm internally screaming at myself to do it what's wrong with me. I've already failed
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