Does anyone else feel like they are 20 years behind in life? Due to my own avoidance and depression and people enabling me I spent my adult life not working and not having any friends or real relationships. I would just have casual sexual relationships with men to get attention and some social contact but they would abuse me and I have trauma from that now. Now I'm so far behind and that wouldn't even be so bad but I'm in huge amounts of debt as well. I don't know why I hated myself so much to do this to my life....I had potential but it's like I chose wrong on purpose. It's like I wanted to fail because I had so many chances. What's worse is I have a loving family that I let down and if I die they will be even more devastated.
I did this all to myself against my better judgment. It's hard to live down throwing away my life and youth. I used to be driven to succeed...before high school I was so concerned about my future and careers. Then I got beaten down so much and bullied and lost all confidence and hope. I became the useless idiot everyone said I was.
I did this all to myself against my better judgment. It's hard to live down throwing away my life and youth. I used to be driven to succeed...before high school I was so concerned about my future and careers. Then I got beaten down so much and bullied and lost all confidence and hope. I became the useless idiot everyone said I was.
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