ConfusedNickYung
Member
- Apr 25, 2020
- 17
I've thought about this a great deal, and I think I'm finally ready to ctb. I'd like to find a source for N preferably or SN in Ontario, Canada. Any help is greatly appreciated.
It's funny when everyone around you keeps telling you it'll get better but no it only gets worse with time. I've been contemplating ctb for multiple years, hoping it'll be better each year but it's all the same, if not worse. I can't bear to wake up another day just to feel worthless and waste resources, time and energy of the people around me. I only exude negative energy and it'll certainly affect them too. I'm not capable of thriving in this cruel world, and I've wasted one too many opportunities and all the doors have closed on me. I wonder if I will ever meet my old high school friend in the afterlife, who also ctb many years ago. It hurts me to establish new connections because I know sooner or later, they will have to deal with the emotional trauma that I may have left behind.
It's funny when everyone around you keeps telling you it'll get better but no it only gets worse with time. I've been contemplating ctb for multiple years, hoping it'll be better each year but it's all the same, if not worse. I can't bear to wake up another day just to feel worthless and waste resources, time and energy of the people around me. I only exude negative energy and it'll certainly affect them too. I'm not capable of thriving in this cruel world, and I've wasted one too many opportunities and all the doors have closed on me. I wonder if I will ever meet my old high school friend in the afterlife, who also ctb many years ago. It hurts me to establish new connections because I know sooner or later, they will have to deal with the emotional trauma that I may have left behind.
