Slowly getting into a bad place

[justfloating]

Earlier this year I was in the worst place of life, had two suicide attempts and several manic episodes but I got better. Lockdown actually helped me recover and I hadn't had suicidal thoughts for months.

Ijust moved across the country for uni, it's been a few days and I haven't met anyone besides my flat mates and I have no friends. Everyone says uni will be the best time of your life and I'm giving it a chance but I don't feel it's going to get better. Everything just feels so pointless and I don't see the point in existing because there's nothing to push on for.

I'm not yet actively suicidal so am not sure if I need to get help again but I feel so alone and like I can't breathe again.

 

[BipolarGuy]

Earlier this year I was in the worst place of life, had two suicide attempts and several manic episodes but I got better. Lockdown actually helped me recover and I hadn't had suicidal thoughts for months.

Ijust moved across the country for uni, it's been a few days and I haven't met anyone besides my flat mates and I have no friends. Everyone says uni will be the best time of your life and I'm giving it a chance but I don't feel it's going to get better. Everything just feels so pointless and I don't see the point in existing because there's nothing to push on for.

I'm not yet actively suicidal so am not sure if I need to get help again but I feel so alone and like I can't breathe again.

I would suggest you do reach out for help if you feel able.
The start of the first year of university is daunting, I know. Do you feel you will settle in when you get into the routine of lectures?

What are you studying?

 

[justfloating]

I would suggest you do reach out for help if you feel able.
The start of the first year of university is daunting, I know. Do you feel you will settle in when you get into the routine of lectures?

What are you studying?

I just remember how much I regretted reaching out last time because it made things so much worse.
I'm just not sure things are going to change because there are so many COVID restrictions it's hard to meet people, especially with how little confidence I have.
My course doesn't start for a week where I'll be able to meet people from it, but if I get too bad now it'll be hard to get out again.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I just remember how much I regretted reaching out last time because it made things so much worse.
I'm just not sure things are going to change because there are so many COVID restrictions it's hard to meet people, especially with how little confidence I have.
My course doesn't start for a week where I'll be able to meet people from it, but if I get too bad now it'll be hard to get out again.

What is making you feel this way?

 

[justfloating]

What is making you feel this way?

I just lay in bed and I think about how pointless life is. People just suffer through life waiting for the moment that's going to make all the pain worth it, even though it may never come. There is no point in me being alive because I will die one day and the earth with continue to turn like nothing happened

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Keep in mind, this year is not a typical university experience. With all the measures in place to try to thwart the pandemic, the full experience is not really available to students this year. Nonetheless, I hope you find the support you need, whether in the form of counseling programs or a community of friends.

I used to be a college prof, so feel free to DM me if you have any questions on getting through the university experience. Happy to support however I can.

 

[Stick]

I've been feeling the same way a bit. All through highschool, people told me "college will be better", "college was so great for me", ect, but now it just feels meaningless. I feel out of place here.
You aren't alone here. If you feel like you need help, you probably do need help. I hope you can get through this. I'm rooting for you.

 

[tidalwxves]

Earlier this year I was in the worst place of life, had two suicide attempts and several manic episodes but I got better. Lockdown actually helped me recover and I hadn't had suicidal thoughts for months.

Ijust moved across the country for uni, it's been a few days and I haven't met anyone besides my flat mates and I have no friends. Everyone says uni will be the best time of your life and I'm giving it a chance but I don't feel it's going to get better. Everything just feels so pointless and I don't see the point in existing because there's nothing to push on for.

I'm not yet actively suicidal so am not sure if I need to get help again but I feel so alone and like I can't breathe again.

I'm sorry to hear this, but it has only been a few days, it takes to time to build a friend group and start making friends at school. Be patient with yourself, be gentle with yourself. The start of a thing is always hard.