Should I just do it

[SomewhereNew]

It's been 2 YEARS and because of my own fucking up and burning bridges whatever you want to call it trying to figure it out I went from 28 to now 30 and NOBODY has noticed my absence I have zero friends talk to maybe one family member once a week or more than likely given up on me because obviously I have given up on me. Why can't I just use the 12g and blow my mind away I rot in bed everyday and nobody fucking cares.

Everybody always says oh Americans have it easy with guns well when you have a shotgun that will turn your head into paste you might fucking hesitate like me as well okay it's easy to say that shit in theory oh id just end it instantly bull fucking shit you would

 

[SufferingDev]

Question is do YOU want to do it? Remember, you cannot un-CTB. We don't know what happens after and cannot guarantee anything.

Let it be you who is ready (or not) for that. Don't let others decide on YOUR life.

 

[aRose]

I've gotten so bitter towards the outside world and people I have also burned all kinds of bridges. I also lost my best friend to marriage lol apparently all she was waiting for a was new dick to sweep her off her feet so she could burn bridges. Now I've burned the bridge with my husband cuz I'm sick of his lack of emotional support and willful ignorance about my medial problems. He just wants me to pretend things are normal already but they'll never be normal again.

I also got a gun and now I'm too chicken shit to use it as well. Violent and messy isn't really my style.

 

[SomewhereNew]

Question is do YOU want to do it? Remember, you cannot un-CTB. We don't know what happens after and cannot guarantee anything.

Let it be you who is ready (or not) for that. Don't let others decide on YOUR life.

Question is do YOU want to do it? Remember, you cannot un-CTB. We don't know what happens after and cannot guarantee anything.

Let it be you who is ready (or not) for that. Don't let others decide on YOUR lii am

Question is do YOU want to do it? Remember, you cannot un-CTB. We don't know what happens after and cannot guarantee anything.

Let it be you who is ready (or not) for that. Don't let others decide on YOUR life.

Well I'm 30 I have wanted to since 16 so it's been an ongoing tug of war with myself tbh

I've gotten so bitter towards the outside world and people I have also burned all kinds of bridges. I also lost my best friend to marriage lol apparently all she was waiting for a was new dick to sweep her off her feet so she could burn bridges. Now I've burned the bridge with my husband cuz I'm sick of his lack of emotional support and willful ignorance about my medial problems. He just wants me to pretend things are normal already but they'll never be normal again.

I also got a gun and now I'm too chicken shit to use it as well. Violent and messy isn't really my style.

I'm sorry you're suffering as well yes guns are very messy and there's a time and place I suppose

 

[fr1dgeDelv3r]

Everybody always says oh Americans have it easy with guns well when you have a shotgun that will turn your head into paste you might fucking hesitate like me as well okay it's easy to say that shit in theory oh id just end it instantly bull fucking shit you would

yeah no matter the method, when we get access to it and the prospect of suicide becomes real, we start second guessing everything. even if we had fully legal, accessible, and painless euthanasia we would still hesitate.

 

[chaewon]

May I ask whats the exact reason u are afraid of using a gun/shotgun? Based on what u said no one would have to see the mess but maybe the emergency and police, so do u feel guilty? Or do u just not want to leave behind ur head bust open on Earth?

I always never understood the hesitation from people 100% insisting on CTB and even trying other methods while having access to a weapon that has the highest success rate and is instant. I am not trying to be rude or an asshole in anyway btw, just curious as I literally wish my own country had civilian gun rights and ive even reached the point where im looking for the right gun on the black market, if its up to me I would CTB the same minute I test that it works.

yeah no matter the method, when we get access to it and the prospect of suicide becomes real, we start second guessing everything. even if we had fully legal, accessible, and painless euthanasia we would still hesitate.

Some people that have access to a gun still try other methods to suicide, so the will is there and the hesitation isnt (about suicide) but they only hesitate with messy methods like shooting themselves and so on. And at the same time there are people who wish they can succeed and pray to die daily, at some point the shitty life and fucked up thoughts will overpower the brains will to live / SI

 

[SomewhereNew]

yeah no matter the method, when we get access to it and the prospect of suicide becomes real, we start second guessing everything. even if we had fully legal, accessible, and painless euthanasia we would still hesitate.

Nailed it

 

[sanctionedusage]

Everybody always says oh Americans have it easy with guns well when you have a shotgun that will turn your head into paste you might fucking hesitate like me as well okay it's easy to say that shit in theory oh id just end it instantly bull fucking shit you would

so fucking true

is this your main motive too? because people aren't in your life, they don't care that you left their life, and now, you're asking for other people to decide if you should ctb as well? can you not live completely alone and care only about yourself? its not easy to do, im just putting it out there

 

[SomewhereNew]

so fucking true

is this your main motive too? because people aren't in your life, they don't care that you left their life, and now, you're asking for other people to decide if you should ctb as well? can you not live completely alone and care only about yourself? its not easy to do, im just putting it out there

I honestly love my solitude

so fucking true

is this your main motive too? because people aren't in your life, they don't care that you left their life, and now, you're asking for other people to decide if you should ctb as well? can you not live completely alone and care only about yourself? its not easy to do, im just putting it out there

My main motive is that I have failed to break the generational curse of alcoholism at least 4 generations and I'm sure many more before that and failing myself and everybody I cared about along the way and being unable to escape my home city of crackheads and dealers also I have terrible social anxiety like Chester Bennington for at least 12 years

so fucking true

is this your main motive too? because people aren't in your life, they don't care that you left their life, and now, you're asking for other people to decide if you should ctb as well? can you not live completely alone and care only about yourself? its not easy to do, im just putting it out there

Idk one of my earliest memories is me trying to blind myself with lazer pointer in the 90s when I was 5 God knows what my Mom put me through I don't remember

so fucking true

is this your main motive too? because people aren't in your life, they don't care that you left their life, and now, you're asking for other people to decide if you should ctb as well? can you not live completely alone and care only about yourself? its not easy to do, im just putting it out there

Idk one of my earliest memories is me trying to blind myself with lazer pointer in the 90s when I was 5 God knows what my Mom put me through I don't remember

 

[sanctionedusage]

My main motive is that I have failed to break the generational curse of alcoholism at least 4 generations and I'm sure many more before that and failing myself and everybody I cared about along the way and being unable to escape my home city of crackheads and dealers also I have terrible social anxiety like Chester Bennington for at least 12 years

yeah thatll do it


you might wanna look into less brutal options in case firearm just isnt the method for you

 

[eggsausagerice]

you might wanna look into less brutal options in case firearm just isnt the method for you

this

i understand how upsetting or difficult not being able to go through with a method can be. even if a gun is instant it's human nature to hesitate. maybe researching other methods would help you feel more sure about the way you want to ctb. if you see using a gun as your only option then you have nothing you can compare it to.

 

[SomewhereNew]

Thanks everyone I'm just kinda shooting in the dark at this point wasn't trying to put what I decide to do on on anybody's conscience it's just like I want out. Let's say albeit a mix of fate, life choices, future life choices based on being depressed since 16 and getting nowhere for 12 years when is enough enough. Do I wait another 5 or 10 years until I'm 40 and even more alone and in despair? Or get it over with! Nobody is coming to save us, so if I cannot save me or make better choices I prolong inevitable suffering.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

even if we had fully legal, accessible, and painless euthanasia we would still hesitate.

I wonder if I'm past that. Hard to imagine I wouldn't drink a painless poison eagerly.

 

[Terrible_Life]

yeah no matter the method, when we get access to it and the prospect of suicide becomes real, we start second guessing everything. even if we had fully legal, accessible, and painless euthanasia we would still hesitate.

How can we stop hesitating and instead be able to go into action ? I mean isn't it disgusting how we get lower and lower and simply accept all the suffering why are we humans like that? Imagine you have a partner and he/she treats you like shit , tortures you mentally and hurt you physically, well you'd leave him or her you'd say fuck off I don't need this I have my dignity but then here we are so many sasu members who have so sad painful stories and they continue suffering not because they want but because they can't ctb which doesn't make sense to me. I for example … I am lost and actually by next option I should kill myself why am I not going right now to the damn woods and kill myself? I know full well that tomorrow horrible pain awaits me and that I'll be sad and angry and isolated and lost ….

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

@Terrible_Life I'm feeling it too. I don't want to fulfill my responsibilities tomorrow. I want to hang tonight. But the cowardice! It's so much easier to go to sleep.

 

[fr1dgeDelv3r]

How can we stop hesitating and instead be able to go into action ? I mean isn't it disgusting how we get lower and lower and simply accept all the suffering why are we humans like that? Imagine you have a partner and he/she treats you like shit , tortures you mentally and hurt you physically, well you'd leave him or her you'd say fuck off I don't need this I have my dignity but then here we are so many sasu members who have so sad painful stories and they continue suffering not because they want but because they can't ctb which doesn't make sense to me. I for example … I am lost and actually by next option I should kill myself why am I not going right now to the damn woods and kill myself? I know full well that tomorrow horrible pain awaits me and that I'll be sad and angry and isolated and lost ….

i am speaking out of my depth here, but i think that hesitation will last as long as we're attached to something that feels somewhat stable in life. for me that's daydreaming and staring at pixels. the funny part is that when people have little else, they manage to get attached to crappy things without necessarily realizing it, like that example you gave about abusive partners.

 

[L'appel Du Vide]

How can we stop hesitating and instead be able to go into action ? I mean isn't it disgusting how we get lower and lower and simply accept all the suffering why are we humans like that? Imagine you have a partner and he/she treats you like shit , tortures you mentally and hurt you physically, well you'd leave him or her you'd say fuck off I don't need this I have my dignity but then here we are so many sasu members who have so sad painful stories and they continue suffering not because because they can't ctb which doesn't make sense to me. I for example … I am lost and actually by next option I should kill myself why am I not going right now to the damn woods and kill myself? I know full well that tomorrow horrible pain awaits me and that I'll be sad and angry and isolated and lost ….

I always figured the original reason is a kind of pressure to finish a natural life with enough of us in our roles long enough to give the following generations their chance. Evolution kind of called for everyone to be resistant to dying as a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. The survival instinct can't be taken away once someone gets stuck in purposeless or excessively painful lives. It's stuck there for the folks who needed it to get through the ice age or black plague or whatever.

 

[Terrible_Life]

@Terrible_Life I'm feeling it too. I don't want to fulfill my responsibilities tomorrow. I want to hang tonight. But the cowardice! It's so much easier to go to sleep.

How can we stop this? Maybe we should reflect our life one final time and then make the decision and just do it

 

[raybd]

I'll say only one thing. Almost no one from any culture or country can think and decide clearly about this. For one reason. All cultures, countries, religions or other social groupings of people value Life or merely being alive, as a positive and this what they inculcate. Even if you are the lowliest of the lowly, getting the rawest deal from everyone, you are oriented towards attaching value to being alive. That is, you are taught to reason i.e., answer this question from a position of inherent bias.
If instead, we had cultures or other groupings rigidly inculcating Quality of Life as as opposed to merely Life, most people would have readymade answers as to whether they should stay on or go.

 

[SomewhereNew]