I feel in a similar position except, no previous attempts. 44 now, ideation since I was 10.
I know for me that I can't do it to my Dad. Not that he relies on me financially (I alone struggle to rely on me financially!) but emotionally, I don't feel like I could do it to him.
I think it has to depend on how you feel though. Whether you feel like you can go on. For now, I do (just) but- that could change.
If you know in your heart that you're stuck here though, then I think you need to find ways to make it more bearable if you can. Longer- term that is. Not quick fixes that help in the moment but, hurt longer term.
I found myself being strict with exercising most of the year. Even though I detest it while I'm doing it, it helped me physically and mentally. I know it's something I'm going to have to force myself to do again soon. Are there things you think you could do to make life more tolerable?