Discussion she makes me more suicidal—but that makes it easier for me.

[lovelulu]

I've been needing more reasons to do it anyway. I'm already suicidal enough, so her (my fp) making it worse is just better for me. When she insults me when shes splitting and doing all of this bullshit even though I know she cant control it, it does make me worse. But of course, im not gonna leave her for that. She's just pushing me more towards suicide which helps me in the end.