I have set the date.
31/10/2022
It's a while from now, but let me explain. I'm going to move to a city in a different country, something I have dreamed of my whole life. I will enjoy the city life for 2 months, and then I'm gone. I don't have any interest in life, this is just something I've always wanted to do.
No more uncertainty about how one day I'm going to kill myself. I will kill myself on Halloween. It has now clicked with me that I don't have to endure the pain of this life, and it's totally my choice. I don't have to witness everyone around me enjoy life, whilst I don't. They can do what they want, but I don't want to be a spectator.
I hope this isn't some sort of manic idea and I can keep my mindset to go ahead with this. Maybe I can stop being so negative until then because nothing really matters, I'm going to be dead soon.
31/10/2022
It's a while from now, but let me explain. I'm going to move to a city in a different country, something I have dreamed of my whole life. I will enjoy the city life for 2 months, and then I'm gone. I don't have any interest in life, this is just something I've always wanted to do.
No more uncertainty about how one day I'm going to kill myself. I will kill myself on Halloween. It has now clicked with me that I don't have to endure the pain of this life, and it's totally my choice. I don't have to witness everyone around me enjoy life, whilst I don't. They can do what they want, but I don't want to be a spectator.
I hope this isn't some sort of manic idea and I can keep my mindset to go ahead with this. Maybe I can stop being so negative until then because nothing really matters, I'm going to be dead soon.
Grateful I am hidden away!
