Seeking help

[lili]

Hey everyone,

I have been posting a lot of messages here lately that I need help, and I feel like I think I decided that I really want it. Because I can't come around to end my life and I'm just tired but I also hated once again going to the mental hospital. I feel that place doesn't help at all and makes things worse. I liked my therapist/psychiatrist before, but he quit on me because I'm just the scum of the Earth if I'm being real and everyone quits on me eventually.

I know all I think about is suicide and try it too much, but then the stupid thing is I can't throw myself off a building, stab myself or jump in front of a train. Now I can't overdose because I can't get more pills, can't come around to hang myself or do the bathtub method because I don't have a bathtub. And then I can't find where to buy SN on the internet or understand the lingo of this website even though I've been here a year already. (Because I am dumb).

So I will announce the city I am based in even though I normally wouldn't : I am currently in New York City.

Does anyone know of anything here to just get help to fix my head...everyone where I try does not cover my insurance, is too expensive, is booked, or can't take me in because I need a "higher level of care" whatever that means.

Please help find me something because I can't come around to kill myself because I would only do it in a way that causes no pain and I can't take this slow torture of existence anymore. I don't come from the US so this is all confusing.

Would appreciate it a lot if anyone knows..something to do with myself.

 

[throwawayyy]

Hey everyone,

I have been posting a lot of messages here lately that I need help, and I feel like I think I decided that I really want it. Because I can't come around to end my life and I'm just tired but I also hated once again going to the mental hospital. I feel that place doesn't help at all and makes things worse. I liked my therapist/psychiatrist before, but he quit on me because I'm just the scum of the Earth if I'm being real and everyone quits on me eventually.

I know all I think about is suicide and try it too much, but then the stupid thing is I can't throw myself off a building, stab myself or jump in front of a train. Now I can't overdose because I can't get more pills, can't come around to hang myself or do the bathtub method because I don't have a bathtub. And then I can't find where to buy SN on the internet or understand the lingo of this website even though I've been here a year already. (Because I am dumb).

So I will announce the city I am based in even though I normally wouldn't : I am currently in New York City.

Does anyone know of anything here to just get help to fix my head...everyone where I try does not cover my insurance, is too expensive, is booked, or can't take me in because I need a "higher level of care" whatever that means.

Please help find me something because I can't come around to kill myself because I would only do it in a way that causes no pain and I can't take this slow torture of existence anymore. I don't come from the US so this is all confusing.

Would appreciate it a lot if anyone knows..something to do with myself.

I'm in the same city as you. I did some research on inpatient psychiatric programs earlier and found a few programs that look solid. Who is your insurance?

 

[lili]

I'm in the same city as you. I did some research on inpatient psychiatric programs earlier and found a few programs that look solid. Who is your insurance?

I sent you a message.

 

[d3c96524be95]

or can't take me in because I need a "higher level of care" whatever that means.

I've heard that too many times and I'll never understand. Do they think we just deserve to be locked up forever or what?

I liked my therapist/psychiatrist before, but he quit on me because I'm just the scum of the Earth if I'm being real and everyone quits on me eventually.

I also had many therapists randomly giving up on me, sometimes aggressively. That's so violent and unprofessional. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know how demoralizing it is.

---

I'm sorry I cannot help you with finding a therapist as I'm not from the US, so my message will be rather useless to you. I just hope you'll find what you're looking for and that it'll help you suffer less. You may be dumb, but you have a lot of inner strength. NYC must be such an overwhelming city to live in, especially as a foreigner.

 

[electricworry]

I know I'm late, but genuinely, I'm proud of you for seeking help like this. It's not easy and it feels like an uphill impossible battle, but I am definitely proud of you.

 

[Grav]

I haven't used them and don't know anyone who has, but have you looked at the online therapists?