like-spoiledmilk
Member
- Jul 10, 2023
- 53
This is silly, I'm mostly just overwhelmed.
I smoked for about six years, just quit a month ago. I'm trying to lose weight the healthy way, which means I can't eat my problems away or stay drunk. I can't starve to feel in control, I'm applying for jobs so I can't take gummies either. This feels like trying to control my body without any reins.
All of that just steeps me in how miserable I am. Exempt from work momentarily, even entirely alone, I can't escape myself - and I hate myself. I'm terribly lonely, but I'm terrified of relationships simultaneously. It's better to stay alone than put people through a dance of hot and cold. Everyone, from friends to family to partners, complains about how often I disappear. I've learned that it's better to stay alone until I figure it out.
I just cannot for the sake of me figure anything out. I don't know who I want to be. I don't know why I get stuck. I don't know how to see a way out of me, anynlongrr not I've been on medication, gone to therapy, and it's not helpful.
I don't know if there's much to do from here. Thanks for reading if you have
I smoked for about six years, just quit a month ago. I'm trying to lose weight the healthy way, which means I can't eat my problems away or stay drunk. I can't starve to feel in control, I'm applying for jobs so I can't take gummies either. This feels like trying to control my body without any reins.
All of that just steeps me in how miserable I am. Exempt from work momentarily, even entirely alone, I can't escape myself - and I hate myself. I'm terribly lonely, but I'm terrified of relationships simultaneously. It's better to stay alone than put people through a dance of hot and cold. Everyone, from friends to family to partners, complains about how often I disappear. I've learned that it's better to stay alone until I figure it out.
I just cannot for the sake of me figure anything out. I don't know who I want to be. I don't know why I get stuck. I don't know how to see a way out of me, anynlongrr not I've been on medication, gone to therapy, and it's not helpful.
I don't know if there's much to do from here. Thanks for reading if you have