Seeking Advice

[eternalbliss22]

I'm really not good at expressing myself. I find myself imploding, following a repeating pattern. Only difference this time is I'm finally have things heading into the right direction. Breaking free of external hostilities, having people put faith in me giving me chance. I've been completely broken a few years ago & dealt with external hostilities. By that I mean harassment, bullying, forced to quit or self destruct fired, or just booted by a liar. So focused on dying. I got hit by a tornado, which should've sent over the edge, literally. I think since work was going the way it was & a peace offering from a neighbor, although I'm struggling with his continued gaslight. I've been using losing my house that is draining my soul as a rallying of will to putting my life right. Couple of months later I guess the honeymoon is over. With some things going right is also bringing out some anger & frustration that's bottled up. I'm so used to the downward spiral from being beaten down I'm naturally drifting that way. My question is how do you release all that anger, frustration when you'll never be able to properly address it? I've had so much wrong done to me. I've also lashed out & done wrong. I will forever be punished while nothing will ever be done about people that wronged me. I know I shouldn't focus on that but how can I not? I decided to start taking a longer route to & from work to avoid a trigger. I will keep falling into the same old pattern if I can't break the cycle.

 

[eternalbliss22]

I've voiced my distain for the christian faith. There's one christian concept I wish to explore & that's forgiveness. To truly be free of anger you can't have resentment. You can get so wrapped up in what you've feel wronged by. So easy to lump a group over what a few have done. You lose track over what you've gained. What others have...I'm not sure how to word it. I guess mindset is where I'm going.