anyone else in therapy have to write a safety plan?
I started drinking recently, and during a 4 day bender I got so drunk that I sobbed for an hour and drunkedly called my psych for an extra appointment.
My meds have been working pretty good in terms of suicidal ideation but my psych had me make a safety plan because she was concerned I would do something while drinking. It was kind of shocking since I never got blacked out before, I feel pretty good and aware of myself when drunk too. In addition I've never made a suicide attempt and I've said many times in therapy that my plans are more long-term ratger than impulsive.
Writing it made me feel worse. In a safety plan you have to write down the names of people who can distract you or talk to you when you are upset. I couldn't put anyone except my psych. I have no one in my life to talk to or trust.
In addition I have mentioned that when I feel especially depressed I tend to go on SS. It helps me feel less lonely and is distracting. However since that's a sign that I'm in a bad place I cant put that as my distraction. Everything else that comforts me is also either toxic to begin with or turns toxic when I'm upset.
Overall it felt stupid. I dont even know where I put it, the only number I have there is my psych's and a suicide hotline. My distracting activity is to sleep. I put that when Im suicidal I shouldnt go outside for my own safety since it will make me feel worse, but at the same time staying in my room and sleeping a lot are signs that I'm getting really depressed. Its like a lose-lose all around
Do you guys have to write a safety plan? How do you feel about them? Have you ever used them when feeling suicidal?
I started drinking recently, and during a 4 day bender I got so drunk that I sobbed for an hour and drunkedly called my psych for an extra appointment.
My meds have been working pretty good in terms of suicidal ideation but my psych had me make a safety plan because she was concerned I would do something while drinking. It was kind of shocking since I never got blacked out before, I feel pretty good and aware of myself when drunk too. In addition I've never made a suicide attempt and I've said many times in therapy that my plans are more long-term ratger than impulsive.
Writing it made me feel worse. In a safety plan you have to write down the names of people who can distract you or talk to you when you are upset. I couldn't put anyone except my psych. I have no one in my life to talk to or trust.
In addition I have mentioned that when I feel especially depressed I tend to go on SS. It helps me feel less lonely and is distracting. However since that's a sign that I'm in a bad place I cant put that as my distraction. Everything else that comforts me is also either toxic to begin with or turns toxic when I'm upset.
Overall it felt stupid. I dont even know where I put it, the only number I have there is my psych's and a suicide hotline. My distracting activity is to sleep. I put that when Im suicidal I shouldnt go outside for my own safety since it will make me feel worse, but at the same time staying in my room and sleeping a lot are signs that I'm getting really depressed. Its like a lose-lose all around
Do you guys have to write a safety plan? How do you feel about them? Have you ever used them when feeling suicidal?
