Revealing the truth

[racek]

Now I know how that shit called 'a mother' is. What person 'it' is. And I have very strong urge to order N ( powder sounds very atractive for me, just 5 minutes and its gone). But i have also an urge to think about how 'wonderful' would be to public the truth via sending letters to each member of this family so they can see how 'wonderful' this person is. Sorry, i dont write much, i refuse to confess, i dont confess almost all my life but this time i think im 100% certain of what was the real reason that shit called 'a mother' abused me when i was young child. I think i could rest in peace now. Again, sry for this post

 

[suffering]

I hate my mother too. Not only for bringing me into this world (which would be enough of a crime), but also for being a heartless piece of trash. She will die alone.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Parental issues are often times hard to understand. I think the majority of it is when bad parents project their own issues onto their kids.

As a parent I can see both sides of it. That's why I'd never put my own problems onto my kids.

 

[racek]

Thank you guys for replies. Im back from a car ride (very fast). It usually helps but not this time. I have an urge to use axe on this shit called 'mother'. Fucking person. It shouldnt be alive. I cant describe how awful this feeling is
I can barely control myself

 

[Poptart]

Its understandable to be furious or sad when the people you count on let you down.

Do you want to share what your "mother" did? You can always PM me.

I hope you can control yourself. No good will come out of you harming another person. I promise.

 

[suffering]

Thank you guys for replies. Im back from a car ride (very fast). It usually helps but not this time. I have an urge to use axe on this shit called 'mother'. Fucking person. It shouldnt be alive. I cant describe how awful this feeling is
I can barely control myself

I know how you feel. I called mine 'piece of trash' in the comment above and it seems like I've been too kind. The trash doesn't deserve to be compared to her, or to 'it' as you put it.
I don't know your situation, but if you can live independently, consider leaving her behind, don't fall for any BS that society throws at you, like 'you should be kind to your parents etc'. Put yourself first. You don't owe anything to her, she owes you everything because she brought you here.

 

[racek]

This fucking person is a bigot. Thinks that god will help everybody etc. But this is only 'its' explanation and justification for whole pain. A lot of things hapened but the very beginning was when i was rly young child. She beated me because i was having fun outside the flat. 'It' used to beat me many times. Then i promised myself i will kill myself or magically disappear when i get old. I cant do anything healthy because im too anxious, afraid person, also bitter. I can of course suppress this feeling and behave kind but people leave me anyway. I usually end up listenning others peopels lifes because i have no life or its not intresting for others. Long story. I dont want to bother you, its so much disgrace for me. That manipulative shit will affect me. I tried living by my own but i ended up depressed and i had to come back to parents flat.
I know i cant harm 'it'. I dont want to end up in prison or do instant suicide by crashing a car. So much inside of me is comming to consciousness