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[BumperCrop]

After many months without a turn of (mental) health, I thought that things were better. A few weeks of lockdown in my region proved me wrong: reducing me to a depressive bedridden mess. I can't remove the image of a noose around my neck from my imagination. The scene plays over and over again.

A part of myself does not want to die. But another insists on a permanent rest. I only want to sleep. I feel unable to balance my shifting responsibilities through this pandemic. (DO NOT GET ME WRONG! I'm neither anti-vax nor anti-lockdown. I'm triple vaccinated and a strong supporter of measures to reduce spread. But as many of you know, it's difficult to work and/or study in these conditions.)

I am no longer looking forward to anything. I've lost interest in all my plans and passions. The living conditions of this pandemic seem especially conducive to depressive episodes. Like the one I'm living now.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know that it can be dreadful when things just get worse. This life can be very tiring and depressing, I just want to sleep forever as well. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[BumperCrop]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know that it can be dreadful when things just get worse. This life can be very tiring and depressing, I just want to sleep forever as well. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

Thank you. I didn't have much of an aim in making this post, I only believed that others would relate and it could be some comfort that none of us struggling right now are alone in the feelings we face.

 

[Hollowman]

I can totally relate but apparently I'm too far gone to be comforted by knowing I'm not alone.

 

[Hotsackage]

Im the same. Hope you find peace in whichever form you desire