Relationships and suicide/self harm

[alixisbonez]

I've had so much trouble with relationships being the way I am they always wanna push recovery on me weather or not I specify that it's not an option I will choose
I've had partners go behind my back and speak to my friends or family trying to force me to seek help if had arguments because of my refusal to get better

And I completely understand wanting someone you love to get better but also I very clearly before getting into a relationship state I do not wish to get better I am very self destructive and will not be here forever so if you still wish to be with me you will need to except and understand that and yet every single time the same thing happens they agree that it's okay that they'll love me untill I choose to die but then actively try to make me better and make me change my mind every time I end the relationship and still don't change my mind I'm deadset on suicide and no one i get with thinks I'm genuinely serious and it's something that, will change but it won't
Idk I just want someone who will be actually be okay with how I am and except I'm not gonna be here for long but that apparently is not possible so I've completely sworn of dateing becouse it doesn't seem possible or really okay to do with the way I am

 

[soul2realm]

I've had so much trouble with relationships being the way I am they always wanna push recovery on me weather or not I specify that it's not an option I will choose
I've had partners go behind my back and speak to my friends or family trying to force me to seek help if had arguments because of my refusal to get better

And I completely understand wanting someone you love to get better but also I very clearly before getting into a relationship state I do not wish to get better I am very self destructive and will not be here forever so if you still wish to be with me you will need to except and understand that and yet every single time the same thing happens they agree that it's okay that they'll love me untill I choose to die but then actively try to make me better and make me change my mind every time I end the relationship and still don't change my mind I'm deadset on suicide and no one i get with thinks I'm genuinely serious and it's something that, will change but it won't
Idk I just want someone who will be actually be okay with how I am and except I'm not gonna be here for long but that apparently is not possible so I've completely sworn of dateing becouse it doesn't seem possible or really okay to do with the way I am

It seems you haven't found love yet. And neither have so many of us.