Regret over failed attempts

[Deadlyroses]

I wish my first attempt in high school had worked. I really regret the fact that I failed. I'm an adult now and I still hate existing. Nothing has happened since then that's made me think "I'm glad it didn't work, I'm glad I stuck around". Not a damn thing. Not one. I am just as miserable all these years later, and several more attempts later.

I hate that I'm such a coward. I hate myself so much. I hate the world so much. I hate the universe for making me exist.

I know I won't fail next time I try. I have a kit with everything I need for when the time comes.

 

[Largeletters]

I get what you mean, I regret my attempts not working either. I could've been dead for going on eight years now, if I knew what I was doing in my first attempt. I'm sorry life has led you in this direction.

 

[motel rooms]

Well, at least you know you did your best; you got an education & a job, which is something that most tortured people never manage to achieve

 

[Burned out]

16 years of suicidal ideation and attempts spanning the same amount of time. Not even 30, hopefully never will be. I seem to be collecting sites for chronic pain as the years add up. I wish there was no euthanasia gatekeeping, and that I hadn't been stupid at 18 and made firearm access unlikely.

 

[All Things Must Pass]

Hey, at least you didn't end up as a vegetable

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel like I should have ctb a long time ago really. It can be hard to take our own lives and I would do anything for a peaceful guaranteed way out. Going through a failed attempt can make us feel as though we are trapped on this earth. One of the things that holds me back is the possibility of consequences from failing.