I am at the point where I am just done. Oddly calm and peaceful but done and constantly unhappy with no hope for the future.
Although this may sound pleasant, it does really remove that impulsive driving anxiety which I believe is a huge cause of suicide attempts. Although risky that state of mind is also one you are likely to impulsively succeed in overcoming SI.
Anyway, I have been focusing on this current weekend as the ideal time. Far enough away from Christmas it would not destroy it for my family and they'd have something to look forward too once they begin to get over me and 2 weeks before my tenancy is due to expire.
I am struggling to fully plan it etc. I am not unsure it just seems weird to prepare. I am debating a couple of very reckless ideas.
I have done a lot of research etc so do not need lecturing on the cons of these ideas.
I have SN, I get drunk on a small amount of hard liquor shots and then just down it. Ideally not wake up but not particularly afraid of waking up.
probably a much more serious idea and arguably I'd probably rather just do it at home sober and to the method but
SN and then car crash in to a tree. A) potentially look like an accident and they may not even test for anything if you are smashed up and bloody in your car. B) Defeat SI as the situation would be very real and you'd almost be under a pressure to crash your car or just sit in your car pulled over and go through it on the side of the road and no doubt get found. Smashing a car up has serious implications but if you hit a tree on a windy road in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night the risk is mitigated.
Only thing is my car is worth a good amount and quid probabaly pay all debt and settle my death financially.
Stupid Reckless ideas but the Drunk SN try it and see idea appeals to me
Although this may sound pleasant, it does really remove that impulsive driving anxiety which I believe is a huge cause of suicide attempts. Although risky that state of mind is also one you are likely to impulsively succeed in overcoming SI.
Anyway, I have been focusing on this current weekend as the ideal time. Far enough away from Christmas it would not destroy it for my family and they'd have something to look forward too once they begin to get over me and 2 weeks before my tenancy is due to expire.
I am struggling to fully plan it etc. I am not unsure it just seems weird to prepare. I am debating a couple of very reckless ideas.
I have done a lot of research etc so do not need lecturing on the cons of these ideas.
I have SN, I get drunk on a small amount of hard liquor shots and then just down it. Ideally not wake up but not particularly afraid of waking up.
probably a much more serious idea and arguably I'd probably rather just do it at home sober and to the method but
SN and then car crash in to a tree. A) potentially look like an accident and they may not even test for anything if you are smashed up and bloody in your car. B) Defeat SI as the situation would be very real and you'd almost be under a pressure to crash your car or just sit in your car pulled over and go through it on the side of the road and no doubt get found. Smashing a car up has serious implications but if you hit a tree on a windy road in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night the risk is mitigated.
Only thing is my car is worth a good amount and quid probabaly pay all debt and settle my death financially.
Stupid Reckless ideas but the Drunk SN try it and see idea appeals to me
