Everything was fine six months ago. I was gearing up for a big 40th, had all my people around me, and things weren't great but they were easily manageable.
Then I had an amazing party, all my circles collided, and everyone had an amazing time. But for some reason this didn't go the way it was supposed to - suddenly, it seemed like nobody had any time left for me any more, they all had new friends. I tried to pull it together, reach out to some people I thought would always be there, BFFs for years ... and almost every one of them brushed me off. I've since lost contact with the majority of my support network and am struggling to keep the days coming.
I like in a house that isn't a home, with a housemate that it's exhausting to be around. Work has me interacting almost daily with someone I have an unfortunate crush on, who spends a lot of her time reassuring me that we're "the best of friends" while telling me all about her Tinder dates and nights out. I've always been ambivalent about choosing to live every day, but now it's getting extremely hard to convince myself to even get out of bed.
I've attempted twice recently, which I may go into detail about later if I think it'll help, and am currently planning for a third attempt. I have another week or so until some things arrive, and then I'll see if I have better luck with a method I hadn't considered previously.
Thanks for listening. That's all.
Then I had an amazing party, all my circles collided, and everyone had an amazing time. But for some reason this didn't go the way it was supposed to - suddenly, it seemed like nobody had any time left for me any more, they all had new friends. I tried to pull it together, reach out to some people I thought would always be there, BFFs for years ... and almost every one of them brushed me off. I've since lost contact with the majority of my support network and am struggling to keep the days coming.
I like in a house that isn't a home, with a housemate that it's exhausting to be around. Work has me interacting almost daily with someone I have an unfortunate crush on, who spends a lot of her time reassuring me that we're "the best of friends" while telling me all about her Tinder dates and nights out. I've always been ambivalent about choosing to live every day, but now it's getting extremely hard to convince myself to even get out of bed.
I've attempted twice recently, which I may go into detail about later if I think it'll help, and am currently planning for a third attempt. I have another week or so until some things arrive, and then I'll see if I have better luck with a method I hadn't considered previously.
Thanks for listening. That's all.
