Really want to die

[ClairyFairy]

I have wanted to die for so long. People are watching me so I can't do it. I am getting checked on all the time. It is more than being unhappy I know killing myself is my destiny but I've never found a good solid way that works. Hopefully that will change

 

[Trisolaris]

I know how you feel. I want to die to the depth of my soul and I have no way of doing it. It is a nightmare.

 

[ClairyFairy]

I have tried so many times but fail every time. I thought it'd be easier than what it is

 

[Trisolaris]

Likewise here. It's tormenting how hard it is to do it. I envy those who actually gone through with it.

 

[ClairyFairy]

I had my way ready but now I'm back to square one. It takes me a long time to build up my courage

 

[wunschtraum]

I have tried so many times but fail every time. I thought it'd be easier than what it is

what did you try and why it failed?
I am sorry that you are in such a situation!

 

[ClairyFairy]

what did you try and why it failed?
I am sorry that you are in such a situation!

I tried to hang myself from the door. I don't know why it failed. I went unconscious but woke up in a bad way. My neck is red raw like I was rolling

 

[wunschtraum]

partial or full?
It sounds terrible!
are you in a hospital now?

 

[ClairyFairy]

partial or full?
It sounds terrible!
are you in a hospital now?

I think it's what people say is partial. I went to the hospital to get checked out but physically there's nothing they can do. I'm at home being watched by my mum and gettingtaken out sporadically so she can feel like she'sdoing her thing. At least if I was in hospital they'd drug me up

 

[WornOutLife]

Yeah, it's hell when you're being monitored 24/7. Been there. Done that.
The only advice I can give you is you play the nice boy/girl so that they can trust you and give you more freedom little by little.

 

[ClairyFairy]

Yeah, it's hell when you're being monitored 24/7. Been there. Done that.
The only advice I can give you is you play the nice boy/girl so that they can trust you and give you more freedom little by little.

It's hard, I'm not used to this type of thing. I normally am allowed freedom and it's making me mad at them all