Pre-attempt thoughts thread (attempt date oct 1)

[grey.skye]

I imagine the kind of apathy is your body's way to protect itself from feeling the fear and overwhelm of the decision. Glad you took some time to chat with your mum. Mine is probably the most important person for me to make sure I say goodbye to.

Just know there's no shame if you catch the (literal) bus home tonight, it just means it wasn't your time to go. Maybe you have some more art to make? I think it's a sign of strength and courage, not weakness, to be willing to change your mind about something. I'll be saying a prayer for you

 

[claracatchingthebus]

I'm pro-choice, but feel uncomfortable when 18-19 year old teenagers ctb.

It's ultimately your choice. People sometimes survive rail suicides. I'm not trying to scare you or make what is potentially your last day more difficult. From wikipedia:

"Approximately 10–30%, depending on the method chosen, of those who attempt rail suicide survive the collision."

"Survivors often suffer severed limbs,[47] brain damage and chronic pain."

The worst thing is to attempt and end up in a state where you can't easily attempt again and are in pain. I hope that this does not happen to you if you try this way. I'm so sorry life has been so hard. I think a 20 percent chance of surving in a very disabled state is a very high risk when the negative consequences are so high.
I am not trying to encourage any method for someone so young, but there are other ways that, if survived, are less likely to lead to permanent painful damage.

I'm so sorry things have been so difficult and hope that somehow your suffering becomes lessened, preferrably without taking such a big risk.

 

[jakerjays]

I'm pro-choice, but feel uncomfortable when 18-19 year old teenagers ctb.

It's ultimately your choice. People sometimes survive rail suicides. I'm not trying to scare you or make what is potentially your last day more difficult. From wikipedia:

"Approximately 10–30%, depending on the method chosen, of those who attempt rail suicide survive the collision."

"Survivors often suffer severed limbs,[47] brain damage and chronic pain."

The worst thing is to attempt and end up in a state where you can't easily attempt again and are in pain. I hope that this does not happen to you if you try this way. I'm so sorry life has been so hard. I think a 20 percent chance of surving in a very disabled state is a very high risk when the negative consequences are so high.
I am not trying to encourage any method for someone so young, but there are other ways that, if survived, are less likely to lead to permanent painful damage.

I'm so sorry things have been so difficult and hope that somehow your suffering becomes lessened, preferrably without taking such a big risk.

I know people survive, I don't care

 

[claracatchingthebus]

I know people survive, I don't care

Okay, I understand. Thank you for replying.

 

[jakerjays]

Okay, I understand. Thank you for replying.

Sorry for being harsh . I really appreciate your care but have been warned wbout survival likelihood many times. Im willing to take the risk wholeheartedly sorry im o

 

[claracatchingthebus]

Sorry for being harsh . I really appreciate your care but have been warned wbout survival likelihood many times. Im willing to take the risk wholeheartedly sorry im o

It's okay, it's not harsh. I just wish I could change your mind, despite being pro-choice and suicidal myself. It doesn't seem like clear-headed thinking to take a risk like that and it could be your thinking is impacted by mental health stuff and you aren't appreciating the risk. Or maybe you completely know and are fully aware. To me, given that there are such big risks of survival, the risk of giving PTSD to the conductor, and there are other ways that are just as lethal and don't involve these risks, it seems possibly an irrational way to end things, which makes me wonder if this is a clear-headed choice or a choice you are not thinking rationally. I'm pro-choice but this also involves risks to others. I wish you would reconsider, at least the method. I also understand severe depression and wanting to end things. But this is almost certainly something I can't stop. It was nice to interact with you briefly.

 

[_RustyLeaf321]

I definitely plan to be busy all day. I have uni until 12, going shopping for some comics until around 2, grab boba, drop my shit off at home, clean my room, feed my pets, and then I'll leave to go and eat out/ have some drinks n then... do it, I guess. The train comes at 8. I made the mistake last time of letting myself stew in my thoughts. I don't want to do that again, but it is frustrating to not be able to pinpoint a feeling beyond neutrality. Maybe it's a good thing to not let myself overthink.

Thank you for talking to me, by the way. It's really nice to occupy myself with things to respond to and I'm interested in what you have to say just as much as it seems you're interested in what I have to say.

Hi, i was a bit late to talk to you before your planned time. I wanted to give you one last good bye.
I don't know if you've made it or not, but you haven't said anything for quite a long time now so if it never reaches, this will just stay as an open letter:
First of all i hope you managed to find what you were looking for and is at peace now.
If not, i just wanted to say that what you said in that message is reciprocal. I'm touched by your kindness and am very glad to had the opportunity to meet you here. You're very kindhearted, i wish you the best right now. Much love, friend<3
if by any chance you never read this, i might as well just wait since i'm looking for to join you soon. We'll have all the time to chat and know more about each other. May good bless you and have mercy on us so we can meet again!
i just wanted to emohasize that, if by any chance you failed, you come back here and talk with us, vent, whatever. Don't be ashamed as there is no shame to have. wishing you the best in every scenario!