Postponed again...

[SleepDealer]

So upset. I have to push back my CTB date again. I don't know if it's worth explaining why, I just wanted to vent.

I hate myself. If I didn't care about so much I wouldn't need to wait, I could just leave. In fact, I would have already left. Why do I care what I leave behind? Why do I care if a stranger gets involved? Why do I care about causing suffering? Why do I care if my death is a burden? Why do I care about dying painlessly? Why do I care about privacy? Why do I care about money? Or comfort? Or anything at all? I wish I didn't care.

I hate that I can't talk to anyone about this, I should have put more effort into making friends here. I just didn't know I'd be here for so long. Too late now. Making good friends takes time, entirely too much time for someone who's already been needing a good friend for years. I'd be better off working up the confidence to hook up with someone for a one-night-stand. People are more willing to fuck a stranger than to hug and comfort one anyway. Humans are funny like that. I'm just gonna cry.

 

[Midgardsorm]

I gotta say, I saw some of your posts and your sense of humor is awesome. You made me crack up with some posts.

If you need a friend but think you need to start from a lower point, I'm one of the lowest level human being. So feel free to talk to me.

 

[Buried_Kid]

I understand what you mean. I understand it completely. It sounds like you took the words from my mouth.

I think everything too much as well, so I end up worrying about what are my loved ones gonna do as I die and what are they gonna feel. What will be their lives after that.

Anyway, if you ever want to talk to someone, feel totally free to DM me. Hugs. <3

 

[FuneralCry]

I can imagine it must be frustrating to change your plans. I'm sorry you are suffering. I understand, it is difficult to leave this world. If it was easier, I would already be gone. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[SleepDealer]

I needed some time to cool off after posting this, but I did read every reply and appreciate all of the support. Thank you, this community is a breath of fresh air sometimes.