Discussion [POLL] Are you the problem or is existence the problem?

[_Gollum_]

Do you think that the reason for your malaise, of whatever sort it is, is something in your life/your past/your circumstances/your brain, or is it the nature of human existence as a whole? I suppose another way of asking this would be whether you would want to live with a different body or circumstances, or whether there is no potential life you would want to live because existence itself is what's wrong.

 

[Makethemsuffer]

The circumstances messed me up, but it's on me if I went downhill

 

[Insufficent]

I know i have 100 % control over my own life. I just dont know how to "operate" this shit. I feel like im missing something that other people does have. It feels like everybody else has it figured out. I'ts like im playing texas hold em but i have uno cards in my hand. I dont know the rules and i have wrong tools. Smart enough to know someting is wrong, too stupid to figure it out and too much of a coward to take a step to some other way.

 

[dragonofenvy]

I went through childhood trauma that was not my fault. The struggles I face with autism were not my fault, I did not choose to be born with it. That being said, while many things were not my fault, the responsibility lies with me as unfair as it is. There are many people out there who went through much worse than I did and who are faring much better. There are many mistakes I made which I acknowledge were my fault. I am trying to take the steps to improve my circumstances now, but I am fearing that it is already too late.

 

[violetforever]

The circumstances messed me up, but it's on me if I went downhill

same. having siblings really solidifies this for me. we grew up in the same dysfunctional home and family and spent our adolescence being depressed and afraid yet im the only one who hasnt overcame it and stabilized as an adult. i dont know what is so wrong with me to not be able to do that like them.

 

[Spite]

Interesting question. I voted "mostly existence" because a lot of things that have contributed to my suffering are things that are beyond my control, like being born with autism, crippling social anxiety, and a predisposition toward thinking very negatively - also having a difficult childhood with an abusive father and being bullied in school.

Where I'm the problem I'd say is my poor judgement skills and continuous bad decisions I have made throughout my life. And these are mostly things that have become problems as I've entered adulthood.

 

[FuneralCry]

No matter what this terrible, torturous existence will always be the problem and it's one only non-existence can solve for me and bring me the peace I search for from, all I want is to be free from this existence of dreadful, futile suffering that I just always saw as a mistake.

I'll always see it as an abomination to exist, this existence that just harms and tortures existing beings all for the sake of it with no limit as to how much agony one can feel will always be the problem and I wish I never suffered more than anything. It's just so terrible how humans cause all this pain and suffering there was never a need for by imposing this existence in the first place, all that imposing this existence ever does is cause all this futile, dreadful suffering, existence itself only ever causes harm and all I want is to erase this existence so it's like I never suffered at all.

 

[sotomie]

Mostly me - I feel like it's easier to say I hate the system, to blame capitalism, and to resent my family. Although some of those things are real, but they are not the whole story. At the end of the day, I still have to live with the fact that the person who disappointed me the most wasn't others, it was me.