Venting Point of no recovery?

[Unhumanly.]

just fucked up in basically a lot of important aspect in my life for being depressed and not able to get myself up to do important stuff, lose some important connections and then risking my job security, and that's all basically for being as passively by just being in a social coma, should I give in to my loneliness and let it swallow me whole? I think the beast is getting bigger now

 

[Unhumanly.]

Since loneliness answer for itself, I suppose I let it chip out every part of me one by one

 

[getoutgirl]

Hi, sorry you are going through a lot rn. I know that social coma well I've destroyed most my relationships repeatedly. loneliness and isolation presents itself as an alluring friend but it eats you up. You said it, the way you describe it yourself it is clear you know it is not great at all. It's a beast. There is an urge to it, but it does you no good.
So since you are in recovery, and I see you are trying and struggling with this and much more, I'd encourage you not to give up on that. To be kind to yourself too if you can at least not that harsh. Take small steps and chip out that loneliness yourself instead of letting it chip you out.
i hope you can do that. all my hugs to you <3

 

[Unhumanly.]

I'd encourage you not to give up on that. To be kind to yourself too if you can at least not that harsh.

Thank you, I guess I'd follow that, maybe this journey is something I have to go through to tell me something, who know? Maybe I'd learn what's good for me and what's not to keep, maybe some part of me are consumed and left empty just for it to grow something else that will change me

after all this is not the first time I'm losing big things in my life, I've been dealing with losing people and a job in the past, it was unexpected and happened at the very moment I thought I can guarantee it will stay in my life to keep me secure, I'm through it anyway and manage to build up everything from the start

but then again, there's another part of my mind that trying to warn me, what if this is the last battle of life's uncertainty and I have to surrender? even though so, maybe I'd try my best not to drown at that in the assumption that I might lose this for something better that will come to my life another time

 

[whatishope]

just fucked up in basically a lot of important aspect in my life for being depressed and not able to get myself up to do important stuff, lose some important connections and then risking my job security, and that's all basically for being as passively by just being in a social coma, should I give in to my loneliness and let it swallow me whole? I think the beast is getting bigger now

I think only you know the answer to that question. Deep down, what do you want? Do you want to give up or do you want to keep going?

This is always the question I end up facing after spiralling down deep. For me, so far, the answer was always keep going. So, then, I slowly started doing stuff again.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel like it's a decision ultimately, rather than a factual circumstance. Obviously, the more things we've let go of in life, the harder it will be to recover. So, as the above member said- I think it becomes more about how much is left in the tank.

How much hope and desire have we got towards the things we wanted/ want? Is it enough to push us on? How much energy have we left to fight? It's not like it has to be big challenges at the start. Maybe just make more effort getting up on time one day. Text someone another. I guess only we know what we really want and, what we're willing to go through to try and get it/ sustain it.