Please help me decide if I admit myself today or not

[deathbylife]

I think I need to go inpatient but I'm scared. Last time was the 22 years ago and they just left me sitting miserably the whole time and I was new in town my parents made me go, then the people said there was no housing or group homes and I just stayed there ignored until I left on my own and was homeless for several months. I have horrible memories of that plus I have to call the police to take me there because it's a holiday and I fucking hate the police. But I don't know if I can survive like this anymore. I missed my appointment at my therapist office by one hour and I can't get ahold of them. (Two different places,) if you can make sense of my post please help me

 

[Dot]

If u thnk tht u cnnt kp urslf safe & u d/ nt wn2 ctb thn inpatnt mght b wht u need

Am awre tht ppl d/ nt alwys lke hot-lnes bt wld it hlp 2 call 1 & tlk thru hw u r feelng wth sme1

If u d/ not ask 2 b admittd wht r ur altern8tves or likly scenarios

 

[deathbylife]

If u thnk tht u cnnt kp urslf safe & u d/ nt wn2 ctb thn inpatnt mght b wht u need

Am awre tht ppl d/ nt alwys lke hot-lnes bt wld it hlp 2 call 1 & tlk thru hw u r feelng wth sme1

If u d/ not ask 2 b admittd wht r ur altern8tves or likly scenarios

I can't read what you wrote

 

[SarRy]

I can't read what you wrote

I think they wrote...
"If you think you cannot keep yourself safe and you don't want to ctb, then inpatient might be what you need.
I am aware that people don't always like hotlines, but would it help to call and talk through how you are feeling with someone?
I you do not ask to be admitted, what are your alternatives or likely scenarios?"

 

[deathbylife]

I think they wrote...
"If you think you cannot keep yourself safe and you don't want to ctb, then inpatient might be what you need.
I am aware that people don't always like hotlines, but would it help to call and talk through how you are feeling with someone?
I you do not ask to be admitted, what are your alternatives or likely scenarios?"

I tried, they won't let me take my phone which is my whole life so no go. Alternative is cutting.

 

[SarRy]

I don't know much about inpatient services. It's really up to you to decide what you think you need. Having to interact with the police sounds like It wouldn't be an ideal situation. Breathe. Take a step back from your thoughts and just think of what you need.

 

[deathbylife]

I don't know much about inpatient services. It's really up to you to decide what you think you need. Having to interact with the police sounds like It wouldn't be an ideal situation. Breathe. Take a step back from your thoughts and just think of what you need.

I know you're trying to help but my thoughts don't ever go away. I have to die I think.