castleonacloud
Member
- Dec 16, 2021
- 9
Hello all--
I have had a delivery from D for several months and have pursued all my options for recovery from extensive trauma, criminal conduct against me (ongoing, highly public) that has been nearly two decades long, which has left me severely impaired with debilitating neurological damage so distinct to me that there is no category into which I fit diagnostically in a way that allows really managing the physiological symptoms so I can function. Thus, I am so thankful for this site and for D. I've had tremendous clinical care and have spent years trying to recover, but external circumstances and internal emotional toll is such that I'm losing my ability to cope without losing my remaining sense of self, agency, and mental facilities. As such, I'm definitely ready to CTB and have all I need to do so, but I have one thing stopping me—my dog. He is two, a Cavapoo, INCREDIBLY attached to me, smart, obedient, trained, etc. One of my doctors loves dogs and he has come to many appointments with her so knows her a bit. I'm close to certain she would follow through with taking him if I were to board him where he sometimes boards for a couple days, then CTB, and schedule a message for 48 hours after that goes to her informing her and giving her the authorization/details on how to pick him up from the boarder and giving her release to ownership of him in my documentation. However, it's uncertain and also I am struggling with the sense of cruelty (knowing how close he is to me and how spoiled he is) of depending on him so much for two years and then abandoning him. But this doesn't at all change my desire to follow through-- it's more like a puzzle I can't solve of how to responsibly handle this one aspect. So, I'm throwing this out there to see if anyone has any input/experience with friends who have gone through, etc. that would help me care for him well while also alleviating my misery.
Thanks so much!
I have had a delivery from D for several months and have pursued all my options for recovery from extensive trauma, criminal conduct against me (ongoing, highly public) that has been nearly two decades long, which has left me severely impaired with debilitating neurological damage so distinct to me that there is no category into which I fit diagnostically in a way that allows really managing the physiological symptoms so I can function. Thus, I am so thankful for this site and for D. I've had tremendous clinical care and have spent years trying to recover, but external circumstances and internal emotional toll is such that I'm losing my ability to cope without losing my remaining sense of self, agency, and mental facilities. As such, I'm definitely ready to CTB and have all I need to do so, but I have one thing stopping me—my dog. He is two, a Cavapoo, INCREDIBLY attached to me, smart, obedient, trained, etc. One of my doctors loves dogs and he has come to many appointments with her so knows her a bit. I'm close to certain she would follow through with taking him if I were to board him where he sometimes boards for a couple days, then CTB, and schedule a message for 48 hours after that goes to her informing her and giving her the authorization/details on how to pick him up from the boarder and giving her release to ownership of him in my documentation. However, it's uncertain and also I am struggling with the sense of cruelty (knowing how close he is to me and how spoiled he is) of depending on him so much for two years and then abandoning him. But this doesn't at all change my desire to follow through-- it's more like a puzzle I can't solve of how to responsibly handle this one aspect. So, I'm throwing this out there to see if anyone has any input/experience with friends who have gone through, etc. that would help me care for him well while also alleviating my misery.
Thanks so much!
